Love, Actually

Friend And Acquaintance

There is a difference between being an acquaintance and being a friend. An acquaintance is someone whose name you know, who you see every now and then, who you probably have something in common with and who you feel comfortable around.

It's a person that you can invite to your home and share things with. But they are people who you don't share your life with, whose actions sometimes you don't understand because you don't know enough about them.

On the other hand, a friend is someone you love. Not that you are "in love" with them, but you care about them and you think about them when they are not there. The people you are reminded of when you see something they might like, and you know this because you know them so well. They are the people whose pictures you have and whose faces are in your head regardless.

Friends are the people you feel safe around because you know they care about you. They call just to see how you are doing, because a friend doesn't need an excuse. They tell you the truth, the first time, and you do the same. You know that if you have a problem, they are there to listen.

Friends are the people who won't laugh at you or hurt you, and if they do hurt you they try hard to make it up to you. They are the people you love, regardless of whether you realize it.

Friends are the people you cried with when you got rejected from colleges and during the last song at the prom and at graduation. They are the people that when you hug them, you don't think about how long to hug and who's going to be the first one to let go.

Maybe they are the people that hold the rings at your wedding, or maybe they are the people who give you away at your wedding, or maybe they are the people you marry. Maybe they are the people who cry at your wedding because they are happy or because they are proud.

They are the people who stop you from making mistakes and help you when you do. They are are the people whose hand you can hold, or you can hug or give them a kiss and not have it be awkward because they understand the things you do and they love you for them.

They stick with you and stand by you. They hold your hand. They watch you live and you watch them live and you learn from them. Your life is not the same without them.

Mommy Mommy Help Me Please Mommy Help Me

I love you mommy

Dear Mommy,

I am in Heaven now, meeting my creator always.
He loves me abundantly.
I so wanted to be your little girl.I don't quite understand what has happened.
I was so excited when I began realizing my existence.
I was in a dark, yet comfortable place. I saw I had fingers and toes.
I was pretty far along in my developing, yet not near ready to leave my surroundings.
I spent most of my time thinking or sleeping.
Even from my earliest days, I felt a special bonding between you and me.

Sometimes I heard you crying and I cried with you. Sometimes you would yell or scream, then cry.
I heard Daddy yelling back.
I was sad, and hoped you would be better soon.
I wondered why you cried so much. One day you cried almost all of the day.
I hurt for you. I couldn't imagine why you were so unhappy.

That same day, the most horrible thing happened.
A very mean monster came into that warm, comfortable place I was in.
I was so scared, I began screaming, but you never once tried to help me.
May be you never heard me.
The monster got closer and closer as I was screaming and screaming,
"Mommy, Mommy, help me please; Mommy, help me."
Complete terror is all I felt.
I screamed and screamed until I thought I couldn't anymore.
Then the monster started ripping my arms off.
It hurt so bad; the pain I can never explain.
It didn't stop. Oh, how I begged it to stop.
I screamed in horror as it ripped my leg off.
Though I was in such complete pain, I was dying.

I knew I would never see your face or hear you say how much you love me.
I wanted to make all your tears go away.
I had so many plans to make you happy.
Now I couldn't; all my dreams were shattered.
Though I was in utter pain and horror, I felt the pain of my heart breaking, above all.
I wanted more than anything to be your daughter.

No use now, for I was dying a painful death.
I could only imagine the terrible things that they had done to you.
I wanted to tell you that I love you before I was gone, but I didn't know the words you could understand. And soon, I no longer had the breath to say them; I was dead.
I felt myself rising. I was being carried by a huge angel into a big beautiful place.
I was still crying, but the physical pain was gone.
The angel took me to God and He blessed me.
He said He loved me, and He was my Father. Then I was happy. I asked Him what the thing was that killed me. He answered, "Abortion.
I am sorry, my child; for I know how it feels."
I don't know what abortion is;
I guess that's the name of the monster who hated my landing on earth as an innocent lovely kid.
I'm writing to say that I love you and to tell you how much I wanted to be your little girl.
I tried very hard to live.
I wanted to live. I had the will, but I couldn't; the monster was too powerful.
It sucked my arms and legs off and finally got all of me. It was impossible to live.
I just wanted you to know I tried to stay with you.
I didn't want to die.

B ut, mummy, I am totally happy here in God's abode and I've plenty of friends to play with. Only cheerful faces are visible here. I shall wait here for you to join us. Dear Mommy, God had told me that no SELFISH people should be here! I have no doubt that my mommy was very nice and I will recommend to God for you and loving Daddy. Also, Mommy, please watch out for that abortion monster. Mommy, I love you and I would hate for you to go through the kind of pain I did.



Please be careful.


Love,


Your Baby Girl

CHENNAI, July 21, 2010

Ajai Sreevatsan

Caption:IMH Director R.Sathianathan hands over flowers to M.Govindha Nayaka in Chennai on Tuesday. Photo: R. Shivaji Rao

Nothing moved. Nobody talked. When M.Govindha Nayaka, a patient at the Institute of Mental Health (IMH) for the past five years, reunited with his family members on Tuesday inside ward 11 after a gap of 25 years, silent emotions took precedence over words.

He is among the many ‘long-stay' patients at the IMH. Picked up by the police while he was wandering on the streets of Nagercoil in 2005, Mr. Nayaka was diagnosed as suffering from schizophrenia and sent to the IMH, Chennai.

Until he gained brief glimmers of consciousness to give the name of his hometown, a remote village near Mysore, to a Kannada speaking post-graduate student, he was just a statistic – one among the 1,522 patients at IMH.

R.Sathianathan, Director, IMH, says Mr.Nayaka is possibly the only patient in the Institute's history to be reunited with family members after a gap of 25 years.

“Very rarely, we have cases where family members somehow locate the patient after five years. Usually, in the case of the wandering mentally-ill, the family just loses hope. Some even perform the last rites.” It was just luck that his family did not shift address in more than two decades and the postman in his native town could find the residence using his father's name.

It was also extremely coincidental that G.Archana, the postgraduate student, could speak Kannada and hailed from a village near Mysore. A postcard was sent on July 8, written in Kannada.

“Somebody listening to a patient patiently for five minutes seems to have brought back 25 years of memory,” says Dr.Sathianathan. “No one still knows what he was doing in the intervening 20 years before he was brought to the Institute. When he goes back home, nostalgia might trigger past memories.”

Stressing that there is nothing like home, he adds, “If a patient has good social support, there is a 30 to 40 per cent chance of reasonable remission.”

Source:
www.thehindu.com

The Most Painful Pain

SOME SAY TOOTH ACHE IS THE WORST PAIN, OTHERS SAYS ITS LABOR PAIN,
BUT I THINK LOVING SOMEONE TRULY IS THE MOST PAINFUL.

like a dream you cannot explain,like a rain in the sunshine,
love can make your world fall apart and give you happiness of all
the pleasures and treasures on the earth can give suddenly something
that turns you inside out,suddenly the love is the thing u cannot live
without.your beloved one makes u smile and fills your heart with
purest oxygenated blood possible.you cannot understand the pain inside,
cannot control this feeling in your heart.u can see the paradise and
see your beloved there and u know (or hope) that she/he too can feel
it deep inside

love is a crazy thing and means a world to you.when you get the love
from the one you love,then you lose control and leave yourself to the
music of your heart and thank god for giving you the best wealth in
this whole world for which many are just dying for and cannot buy with
the endless paper money they have

love is a beautiful emotion,need a gentle care like that taken of a
seedling and to be natured daily with true feelings,respect,small
gestures to show your love and remember your beloved in every mood
of life and share the tiniest thing with her/him

love is only meant to make you more lovable,gentle,nonselfish,caring,
compromising,charitable,faithful,kind and best human being

love is not measured in terms of gifts, card,cakes and sweets.
NO NOT AT ALL !THEN IT IS NOT LOVE !IT MERELY IS A GAME YOU LOVE TO PLAY

love is real painful emotion if not rightly dealt with,needs broad
outlook and optimistic approach like believing in the existence of
god.

love is a very pure emotion and need your heart's purity like
amrit jal

love is all about giving and you will see god will give you all you
need to have the best in your life
love is to understand more the other person than ourselves
love is worship in true sense without thinking of getting anything
in return(which is the most difficult to do)
love makes you larger than life and hand over yourself to the other
person i.e. your beloved

LOVE IS SOMETHING SPECIAL AND A VERY EXOTIC FEELING WHICH MAKES A
SPECIAL PERSON HAVING REFINEST EMOTIONS WITH PEACE OF MIND,HEALTH
AND WEALTH.AND TO BE IN LOVE U NEED TO BE IN LOVE TO CHANGE YOURSELF.

Lord Randolph (Henry Spencer) Churchill (1849-95), the third son of the seventh duke of Marlborough, first entered the House of Commons in 1874--the same year he married Jennie--when he was just 25 years old. From 1876 to 1880 he was unofficial private secretary to his father, lord lieutenant (viceroy) of Ireland, actively supporting local self-government (but not Home Rule) for Ireland. In 1885 he was appointed secretary of state for India, and in 1886 chancellor of the exchequer and leader of the House of Commons. In December of that year, his resignation (a political ploy to push through his budget) was unexpectedly accepted. Illness in his last years resulted in a painful death at age 45. His son, Winston, later became Prime Minister of Great Britain.

August 1873

I cannot keep myself from writing any longer to you dearest, although I have not had any answer to either of my two letters. I suppose your mother does not allow you to write to me. Perhaps you have not got either of my letters...I am so dreadfully afraid that perhaps you may think I am forgetting you.

I can assure you dearest Jeannette you have not been out of my thoughts hardly for one minute since I left you Monday. I have written to my father everything, how much I love you how much I long & pray & how much I wld sacrifice if it were necessary to be married to you and to live ever after with you.

I shall [not] get an answer till Monday & whichever way it lies I shall go to Cowes soon after & tell your mother everything. I am afraid she does not like me vy much from what I have heard...I wld do anything she wished if she only wld not oppose us. Dearest if you are as fond of me as I am of you...nothing human cld keep us long apart.

This last week has seemed an eternity to me; Oh, I wld give my soul for another of those days we had together not long ago...Oh if I cld only get one line from you to reassure me, but I dare not ask you to do anything that your mother wld disapprove of or has perhaps forbidden you to do... Sometimes I doubt so I cannot help it whether you really like me as you said at Cowes you did. If you do I cannot fear for the future tho' difficulties may lie in our way only to be surmounted by patience.

Goodbye dearest Jeannette. My first and only love...Believe me ever to be Yrs devotedly and lovingly,

Randolf S. Churchill

This is about the extend to which love can hurt.
this story is about Nitin and Christina.
the name suggests i m a Christian and he is a Hindu by religion.

two different religions and to different social class,
well social class was not much of a 'problem' 'problem' to us.

the beautiful night of Navratri.
oh! how found i was to go for Navratri nights
girls and boys clad in beautiful gujarati traditional outfits.
what a scene to witness.
But I never knew that He would be the one among the crowd.
Just like me in formal clothes with his glasses on
o soo cute did he look.
any ways that was the first time that we saw each other.

well would'nt call it love at first sight
but yes we were indeed attracted to each other at that very night.
i knew some where we had a long way to go
but it would be this long i did not know.

after few days he asked me to be his girlfriend
and i said yes,
we were pretty young at that time.
i was in my 8th class and he had just completed his 10th.
things did not seem to be working between us after few months
we ended in a breakup.

I m not here writing about our break up.
No, it is about how drastically the break up changed our lives,
it was only after the break up did we realize
Oh !! what did just happen.
Nitin had a bad bad time
worse than me.
coz it was that time that we realized that,
we are so much in love with each other
after the break up.
Nitin was my sisters friend too.
he would call her up and inquire about me
and i would secretly listen to their talk.
It made me happy.
But i did not know if we would come back again.

One day he came to my place with his friend,
with a small modelling contract to do with my sister,
she agreed !!!
and that was the time that we started to come close once again.
He came to my place sat next to me and
looked straight in my eyes and said
i know have made a mistake,
the biggest of my life.
i knew it all coz he missed me like hell
and wanted me back in my life badly.
he kept up his guts and proposed me to be his girlfriend
AGAIN !!!!!!!!
yes and he took my hand and promised me that
" No matter what barriers we have in our future,
I will never let go off this hand, until death do us Part".

I knew it deep in my heart that he really meant
each and every word he said not only about his love
but also about the barriers..
the barriers were soon to come.

we started spending days together listening
to each other after so many years.
he would look deep into my eyes and said :
"I Love U" and he did mean it.
the way he looked into my eyes made my heart shiver.
because i knew that we will have hard time to get married.

Yes we always had marriage in our mind.
I had always seen him in my dreams
fathering my children . earning bread for us,
and always holding my hand.

The bad time started.
we had to get apart,
he left for some other country
to make a living for himself so much so
that he could marry me and make me his wife,
Yes his family were not going to approve of me.
not at any instance,
and we live in a society where only arranged
marriages were approved off,
an intercaste marriage is a big NO NO.

so he flew away miles away from me,
at time i urged to touch him,
rest on his arm and cry..
hug him hard and say I LOVE U,
but all i could do is,
come over to my laptop
talk to him through the computer screen
and go back to sleep,
Tears were our best friend,
that liked to stay with us on every step of our life.
yes every night i had to turn my back form my sis
just to hide my tears..
even though we were miles apart.
i would still feel his hands holding mine
and telling
" No matter what barriers we have in our future,
I will never let go off this hand, until death do us Part".
Yes i trusted him !!!

Time came and our love weaken us
He came back.
we thought of so very many ways to get married
but we always thought of our families,
and kept on sacrificing our love.
the only way out was to elope.
because no power in earth would
melt his parents heart..

the world has changed around us.
but we Nitin and Christina are still so much in love,
and are still striving to get our love the power of Marriage,

If you read our story, please do pray for our.
we need a lot of our prayer and blessing,
we need your support.

Secrets Of Love

The first secret: the power of love.

Love begins with our thoughts. We become what we think. Loving thoughts create loving experiences and loving relationships. Affirmations can change our beliefs and thoughts about ourselves and others. If we want to love someone, we need to consider their needs and desires. Thinking about your ideal partner will help recognize him or her when you meet.

The second secret: the power of respect.

You cannot love anyone or anything unless you first respect them. The first person you need to respect is yourself. To begin to gain self-respect ask yourself, "What do I respect about myself?" To gain respect for others, even those you may dislike, ask yourself, "What do I respect about them?"

The third secret: the power of giving.

If you want to receive love, all you have to do is give it! The more love you give, the more you will receive. To love is to give of yourself, freely and unconditionally. Practice random acts of kindness. The secret formula of a happy, lifelong relationship is to always focus on what you can give instead of you can take.

The fourth secret: the power of friendship.

To find true love you must first find a true friend. To love someone completely you must love them for who they are not what they look like. Friendship is the soil through which love's seeds grow. If you want to bring love into a relationship, you must first bring friendship.

The fifth secret: the power of touch.

Touch is one of the most powerful expressions of love, breaking down barriers and bonding relationships. Touch changes our physical and emotional states and makes us more receptive to love.

The sixth secret: the power of letting go.

If you love something, let it be free. Even in a loving relationship, people need their space. If we want to learn to love, we must first learn to forgive and let go of past hurts and grievances. Love means letting go of our fears, prejudices, egos and conditions.

The seventh secret: the power of communication.

To love someone is to communicate with them. Let the people you love know; that you love and appreciate them. Never be afraid to say, "I love you." Never let an opportunity pass to praise and acknowledge someone. Always leave someone you love with a loving word ... it could be the last time you see them.

The eighth secret: the power of commitment.

If you want to have love in abundance, you must be committed to it. Commitment is the true test of love. If you want to have loving relationships, you must be committed to loving relationships. When you are committed to someone or something, quitting is never an option. Commitment distinguishes a fragile relationship from a strong, loving one.

The ninth secret: the power of passion.

Passion ignites love and keeps it alive. Lasting passion does not come through physical attraction alone. It comes from deep commitment, enthusiasm, interest and excitement. The essence of love and happiness are the same, all we need to do is to live each day with passion.

The tenth secret: the power of trust.

You cannot love someone completely unless you trust them completely. Act as if your relationship with the person you love will never end. Trust is essential in all loving relationships. Trust yourself, trust others and trust the world. It is the foundation for LOVE.



When you worry and hurry through your day, it is like
an unopened gift...Thrown away...Life is not a race.
Take it slower. Hear the music before the song is over.

*
A LOVE STORY

Once upon a time, there was an island where all the feelings lived; Happiness, Sadness, Knowledge, and all the others, including Love. One day it was announced to the feelings that the island would sink, so all repaired their boats and left.

Love wanted to persevere until the last possible moment. When the island was almost sinking, Love decided to ask for help. Richness was passing by Love in a grand boat. Love said "Richness, can you take me with you?" Richness answered, "No, I can't. There is a lot of silver in my boat. There is no place here for you."

Love decided to ask Vanity who was also passing by in a beautiful vessel. "Vanity, please help me!" "I can't help you Love. You are all wet and might damage my boat," Vanity answered.

Sadness was close by so Love asked for help, "Sadness, let me go with you." "Oh....Love, I am so sad that I need to be by myself."

Happiness passed by Love too, but she was so happy that she did not even hear when Love called her!

Suddenly there was a voice, "Come Love, I will take you." It was an elder. Love felt so blessed and overjoyed that he even forgot to ask the elder his name. When they arrived at dry land, the elder went his own way.

Love realizing how much he owed the elder, asked Knowledge, another elder. "Who helped me?" "It was Time," Knowledge answered. "Time?" asked Love. "But why did Time help me?" Knowledge smiled with deep wisdom and answered, "Because, only Time is capable of understanding how great Love is."

Six Types of Love
In a classic book titled Colors of Love (1973), J. A. Lee defined six varieties of relationship that might be labeled love.

What six different types of love did J. A. Lee define?
Eros is romantic, passionate, love—what Tennov labeled limerence. In this type of relationship, love is life's most important thing. Lee said a search for physical beauty or an ideal type also typifies this type of love.

Ludus is a game-playing or uncommitted love. Lying is part of the game. A person who pursues ludic love may have many conquests but remains uncommitted.

Storge (STORE-gay) is a slow developing, friendship-based loved. People with this type of relationship like to participate in activities together. Often storge results in a long-term relationship in which sex might not be very intense or passionate.

Pragma is a pragmatic, practical, mutually beneficial relationship. It may be somewhat unromantic. A person who leans toward this type of relationship may look for a partner at work or where the person is spending time. Sex is likely to be seen as a technical matter needed for producing children, if they are desired.

Mania is an obsessive or possessive love, jealous and extreme. A person in love this way is likely to do something crazy or silly, such as stalking. The movie Fatal Attraction was about this type.

Agape (a-GOP-aye) is a gentle, caring, giving type of love, brotherly love, not concerned with the self. It is relatively rare. Mother Theresa showed this kind of love for impoverished people.

What have researchers found, in studying Lee's six types of love?
Hendrick, Hendrick, Slapion-Foote, and Foote (1985) found that men were more likely to show the ludic type of love, while women were more likely to be storgic or pragmatic.

Studies of couples happily married for over 30 years showed that couples who rated their marriages as highly satisfactory described their relationship in terms which resembled erotic love more than the other five types. This might be surprising; in view of the earlier-mentioned finding that limerence type relationships tend to flare out quickly among college students. However, it might be the case that long-term relationships that contain both friendship and a passionate spark are more likely to endure and provide satisfaction to both parties than relationships that are low-key and pragmatic.

Which type of love was least familiar to students in an introductory psychology class?
In a classroom poll, conducted in two American introductory psychology classes of over 250 students each, the first five types were all familiar to over 80% of the students from their personal experience (their own relationships or people they knew). However, less than 10% of students knew somebody who expressed agape.

there was once an ancient and majestic tree, with branches spreading
out towards
the sky. When it was in a flowering mood, butterflies of all shapes,
colors and sizes danced around
it. When it grew blossoms and bore fruit, birds from far lands came and
sang in it. The branches,
like outstretched hands, blessed all who came and sat in their shade. A
small boy used to come and
play under it, and the big tree developed an affection for the small
boy.
Love between big and small is possible, if the big is not aware that it
is big. The tree did not know
it was big; only man has that kind of knowledge. The big always has the
ego as its prime concern,
but for love, nobody is big or small. Love embraces whomsoever comes
near.
So the tree developed a love for this small boy who used to come to play
near it. Its branches were
high, but it bent and bowed them down so that he might pluck its flowers
and pick its fruit. Love is
ever ready to bow; the ego is never ready to bend. If you approach the
ego, its branches will stretch
upwards even more; it will stiffen so you cannot reach it.
The playful child came, and the tree bowed its branches. The tree was
very pleased when the child
plucked some flowers; its entire being was filled with the joy of love.
Love is always happy when it
can give something; the ego is always happy when it can take.
The boy grew. Sometimes he slept on the tree's lap, sometimes he ate its
fruit, and sometimes
he wore a crown of the tree's flowers and acted like a jungle king. One
becomes like a king when
the flowers of love are there, but one becomes poor and miserable when
the thorns of the ego are
present. To see the boy wearing a crown of flowers and dancing about
filled the tree with joy. It
nodded in love; it sang in the breeze. The boy grew even more. He began
to climb the tree to swing
on its branches. The tree felt very happy when the boy rested on its
branches. Love is happy when
it gives comfort to someone; the ego is only happy when it gives
discomfort.
With the passage of time the burden of other duties came to the boy.
Ambition grew; he had exams
to pass; he had friends to chat with and to wander about with, so he did
not come often. But the tree
waited anxiously for him to come. It called from its soul, Come. Come. I
am waiting for you. Love
waits day and night. And the tree waited. The tree felt sad when the boy
did not come. Love is sad
when it cannot share; love is sad when it cannot give. Love is grateful
when it can share. When it
can surrender, totally, love is the happiest.
As he grew, the boy came less and less to the tree. The man who becomes
big, whose ambitions
grow, finds less and less time for love. The boy was now engrossed in
worldly affairs.
One day, while he was passing by, the tree said to him, I wait for you
but you do not come. I expect
you daily.
The boy said, What do you have? Why should I come to you? Have you any
money? I am looking
for money. The ego is always motivated. Only if there is some purpose to
be served will the ego
come. But love is motiveless. Love is its own reward.


The startled tree said, You will come only if I give something? That
which withholds is not love.
The ego amasses, but love gives unconditionally. We don't have that
sickness, and we are joyful,
the tree said. Flowers bloom on us. Many fruits grow on us. We give
soothing shade. We dance
in the breeze, and sing songs. Innocent birds hop on our branches and
chirp even though we don't
have any money. The day we get involved with money, we will have to go
to the temples like you
weak men do, to learn how to obtain peace, to learn how to find love.
No, we do not have any need
for money.
The boy said, Then why should I come to you? I will go where there is
money. I need money. The
ego asks for money because it needs power.
The tree thought for a while and said, Don't go anywhere else, my dear.
Pick my fruit and sell it.
You will get money that way.
The boy brightened immediately. He climbed up and picked all the tree's
fruit; even the unripe ones
were shaken down. The tree felt happy, even though some twigs and
branches were broken, even
though some of its leaves had fallen to the ground. Getting broken also
makes love happy, but even
after getting, the ego is not happy. The ego always desires more. The
tree didn't notice that the boy
hadn't even once looked back to thank him. It had had its thanks when
the boy accepted the offer to
pick and sell its fruit.
The boy did not come back for a long time. Now he had money and he was
busy making more
money from that money. He had forgotten all about the tree. Years
passed. The tree was sad. It
yearned for the boy's return like a mother whose breasts are filled with
milk but whose son is lost.
Her whole being craves for her son; she searches madly for her son so he
can come to lighten her.
Such was the inner cry of that tree. Its entire being was in agony.
After many years, now an adult, the boy came to the tree.
The tree said, Come, my boy. Come embrace me.
The man said, Stop that sentimentality. That was a childhood thing. I am
not a child any more. The
ego sees love as madness, as a childish fantasy.
But the tree invited him: Come, swing on my branches. Come dance. Come
play with me.
The man said, Stop all this useless talk! I need to build a house. Can
you give me a house?
The tree exclaimed: A house! I am without a house. Only men live in
houses. Nobody else lives
in a house but man. And do you notice his condition after his
confinement among four walls? The
bigger his buildings, the smaller man becomes. We do not stay in houses,
but you can cut and take
away my branches and then you may be able to build a house.
Without wasting any time, the man brought an axe and severed all the
branches of the tree. Now
the tree was just a bare trunk. But love cares not for such things even
if its limbs are severed for
the loved one. Love is giving; love is ever ready to give.
The man didn't even bother to thank the tree. He built his house. And
the days flew into years.
OF LOVE
The trunk waited and waited. It wanted to call for him, but it had
neither branches nor leaves to give
it strength. The wind blew by, but it couldn't even manage to give the
wind a message. And still its
soul resounded with one prayer only: Come. Come, my dear. Come. But
nothing happened.
Time passed and the man had now become old. Once he was passing by and
he came and stood
by the tree.
The tree asked, What else can I do for you? You have come after a very,
very long time.
The old man said, What else can you do for me? I want to go to distant
lands to earn more money.
I need a boat, to travel.
Cheerfully, the tree said, But that's no problem, my love. Cut my trunk,
and make a boat from it. I
would be so very happy if I could help you go to faraway lands to earn
money. But, please remember,
I will always be awaiting your return.
The man brought a saw, cut down the trunk, made a boat and sailed away.
Now the tree is a small stump. And it waits for its loved one to return.
It waits and it waits and it
waits. The man will never return; the ego only goes where there is
something to gain and now the
tree has nothing, absolutely nothing to offer. The ego does not go where
there is nothing to gain.
The ego is an eternal beggar, in a continuous state of demand, and love
is charity. Love is a king,
an emperor! Is there any greater king than love?
I was resting near that stump one night. It whispered to me, That friend
of mine has not come back
yet. I am very worried in case he might have drowned, or in case he
might be lost. He may be lost
in one of those faraway countries. He might not even be alive any more.
How I wish for news of
him! As I near the end of my life, I would be satisfied with some news
of him at least. Then I could
die happily. But he would not come even if I could call him. I have
nothing left to give and he only
understands the language of taking.
The ego only understands the language of taking; the language of giving
is love.
I cannot say anything more than that. Moreover, there is nothing more to
be said than this: if life can
become like that tree, spreading its branches far and wide so that one
and all can take shelter in its
shade, then we will understand what love is. There are no scriptures, no
charts, no dictionaries for
love. There is no set of principles for love.
I wondered what I could say about love! Love is so difficult to
describe. Love is just there. You could
probably see it in my eyes if you came up and looked into them. I wonder
if you can feel it as my
arms spread in an embrace.
Love.
What is love?
If love is not felt in my eyes, in my arms, in my silence, then it can
never be realized from my words.

Most people who claim to love someone don’t really love them, because they don’t know what love actually is.

What is love NOT?

Possessiveness is not love
Jealousy is not love
Lust is not love
Fear is not love
Keeping people all to yourself is not love
Expecting something from someone is not love

Real love is unconditional. All other “forms” of love are not really love. Most parents and kids don’t love each other, most people in relationships don’t
love each other, most people on the planet never experience unconditional love in their entire lives… or at least it sure looks that way.

To love someone unconditionally means that you love the person exactly as they are, exactly as they were before, and exactly as they will be in the future
– because people change all the time, so if you love the person, you will love them even if they become something you disagree with. How many parents can
say that about their kids? How many people can say that about their “lover”? Love is not about you or your pleasure or your amusement. It’s not about what
you get out of it or what the other person can give to you. It’s not about having a trophy you can show off with and tell people “This is *MY* girlfriend/boyfriend/wife/husband/son/daughter/whatever”.
You do not “own” anyone. It’s not about you feeling ‘proud’ to be with someone who always agrees with everything you say and do and never does anything
you disagree with. Unconditional love means that the person can just live their life exactly as they choose and you will always be there for them no matter
what.

So, how does unconditional love fit in with relationships and marriage and sex and all that stuff the whole world keeps going crazy over? It doesn’t, really.
It doesn’t “fit” in anywhere. Relationships are like trying to put love into a box and keep it there, except love is infinitely sized, and the box is…
well, there is no box large enough. And a normal, conventional marriage is quite possibly the worst possible way to show someone how much you love them.

Unconditional love is more of a spiritual thing. It’s not bound by physical things, like blood relations and the desire to procreate. It has nothing whatsoever
to do with sex. Most people are in relationships because they’re horny and/or lonely, even if they genuinely think they love the other person. But if the
person they “love” suddenly lost their “equipment” for whatever reason, would they still want to be with that person? Would they get jealous if the person
they “love” wanted to spend time with other people as well? Relationships based on needs are not unconditional.

In order to truly understand love, you must first forget everything you have ever learned about it from society and anyone else (including what I just said).
You are the only person who can tell you what love is. The only reason I’m writing all this stuff is because people always try to fit “love” in with things
like dating, relationships and marriage and all that. You can’t make any sense of it if you keep doing that. You have to get rid of everything you think
you know first.

A man and his wife went on vacation to Jerusalem.

While they were there, the wife passed away. The undertaker told the
husband, "You can have her shipped home for $5,000, or you can bury
her here, in the Holy Land, for $150."

The man thought about it and told him he would just have her shipped home.

The undertaker asked, "Why would you spend $5,000 to ship your wife
home, when it would be wonderful to be buried here and you would spend
only $150?"

The man replied, "Long ago a man called Jesus Christ died here, was
buried here, and three days later he rose from the dead. I just can't
take that chance."

"One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love." - Sophocles

"Attention is the most basic form of love; through it we bless and are blessed." - John Tarrant

"We love because it's the only true adventure." - Nikki Giovanni

"Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch it, and it darts away." - Dorothy Parker

"Love is friendship set on fire." - unknown

"Love is an ideal thing, marriage a real thing." - Goethe

"To be in love is merely to be in a state of perceptual anesthesia." - H.L. Mencken

"Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it...It really is worth fighting for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don't risk everything, you risk even more." - Erica Jong

"Sometimes love is stronger than a man's convictions." - Isaac Bashevis Singer

"Love is the master key that opens the gates of happiness." - Oliver Wendell Holmes

"Maybe love is like luck. You have to go all the way to find it." - Robert Mitchum

"Love stretches your heart and makes you big inside." - Margaret Walker

"Love has no awareness of merit or demerit; it has no scale... Love loves; this is its nature." - Howard Thurman

"Love is like war: Easy to begin but hard to end." - Anonymous

"Love consists in this, that two solitudes protect and touch and greet each other." - Rainer Maria Rilke

"Where love is, no room is too small." - Talmud

"Loves makes your soul crawl out from its hiding place." - Zora Neale Hurston

"Love is the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired." - Mark Twain

"Love is more than three words mumbled before bedtime. Love is sustained by action, a pattern of devotion in the things we do for each other every day." - Nicholas Sparks

"To love is to receive a glimpse of heaven." - Karen Sunde

"A love song is just a caress set to music." - Sigmund Romberg

"Love is an act of endless forgiveness, a tender look which becomes a habit." - Peter Ustinov

"Love is like a violin. The music may stop now and then, but the strings remain forever." - unknown

"Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence." - Erich Fromm

"In the final analysis, love is the only reflection of man's worth." - Bill Wundram, Iowa Quad Cities Times

"Love doesn't make the world go round, love is what makes the ride worthwhile." - Elizabeth Browning

"Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song,
A medley of extemporanea;
And love is a thing that can never go wrong;
And I am Marie of Roumania."
- Dorothy Parker

"To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer. To suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy then is to suffer. But suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you're getting this down."
- Woody Allen,

LOVE LETTER FROM AN ACCOUNTANT
In the Journal of my heart,
I have written a Journal Entry,
Debiting my love & crediting my affection,
Now partner, you write the Narration.
Your beauty is the Capital of our business,
And your eyes are Stock In Trade,
Now let us enter into a Transaction,
Without providing Depreciation.
Your first love I have already indicated,
On the Ledger Folio column,
Any way, our relations are based on,
Double Entry System.
Our love is Real & Tangible,
Which can be realized,
Interest on the same,
Can be capitalized.
Partner, you are like a Contra Entry,
You are on my Debit Side & Credit Side,
Both at the same time,
Can it be posted into Ledger, that now you decide.
And so my partner now let us Rectify,
All our errors & total the Trial Balance,
Of our affairs & emotions,
Without maintaining any Suspense Account.
And any difference in the Trial Balance,
In the Balance Sheet of our life,
Our children will be Assets & Liabilities,
If they are boys, shall we call them Sundry Debtors?
If they are girls, shall we call them Sundry Creditors?
But if we have a boy & a girl,
Our Balance Sheet will Tally automatically,
And the Auditor will certify like this,
"THE ACCOUNT SHOWS A TRUE & FAIR VIEW OF LOVELY BUSINESS CONDUCTED DURING LIFE'S
ACCOUNTS"

Hello,

A LOVE STORY

Once upon a time, there was an island where all the feelings lived; Happiness, Sadness, Knowledge, and all the others, including Love. One day it was announced to the feelings that the island would sink, so all repaired their boats and left.

Love wanted to persevere until the last possible moment. When the island was almost sinking, Love decided to ask for help. Richness was passing by Love in a grand boat. Love said "Richness, can you take me with you?" Richness answered, "No, I can't. There is a lot of silver in my boat. There is no place here for you."

Love decided to ask Vanity who was also passing by in a beautiful vessel. "Vanity, please help me!" "I can't help you Love. You are all wet and might damage my boat," Vanity answered.

Sadness was close by so Love asked for help, "Sadness, let me go with you." "Oh....Love, I am so sad that I need to be by myself."

Happiness passed by Love too, but she was so happy that she did not even hear when Love called her!

Suddenly there was a voice, "Come Love, I will take you." It was an elder. Love felt so blessed and overjoyed that he even forgot to ask the elder his name. When they arrived at dry land, the elder went his own way.

Love realizing how much he owed the elder, asked Knowledge, another elder. "Who helped me?" "It was Time," Knowledge answered. "Time?" asked Love. "But why did Time help me?" Knowledge smiled with deep wisdom and answered, "Because, only Time is capable of understanding how great Love is."

Regards,
Nomi.

Type of Mom You Have

You can actually find the type of mum you have. Having an idea about the inherent nature of your mother at times helps you judge her actions and words better. It's always good to have insights into her nature. This in turn helps you to understand your mother better and act accordingly. It gives you an opportunity to work on your relationship with your mom.

Moms can be of many different types: sugary sweet, disciplinarian, short-tempered, patient, determined or even very passionate. But whatever be the predominant qualities ruling her heart she would always be the mother to her child and will continue to love and protect her child with all her heart and soul. Her maternal instincts dominate and surpass all other qualities she possesses.

Depending on the nature of your mom you can plan and choose gift for her that will suit her best. On Mother's Day plan a celebration that will be really approved by your mother. You can categorize your mothers in the following four distinct categories:
• Artisan Mother
• Idealist Mother
• Rational Mothers
• Guardian Mothers

Artisan Mother

You should be very happy to have an artisan mother, for you can afford to be a carefree child and do as your heart tells you. An artisan mother would not be very strict and not much of a disciplinarian. You will learn from her to deviate from the usual norms.

Artisan mothers are playful, daring and also sensual. Artisan mothers love adventures. They look for fun and enjoyment in the small acts of life. Typically, they are unconventional and spontaneous. These free-spirited mothers are emotional and impulsive by nature. You have an advantage with artisan mothers; and that is such mothers are more-often-than-not generous to faults. You can possibly have your way by touching the emotional strings attached to their hearts. They are usually very daring and are least afraid of the risks in life.

If you refer to celebrity mothers to have a clear understanding of the personality of an artisan mother you can always take the example of Madonna who is a very famous artisan mother. Now can you recognize your artisan mother?

Idealist Mother

Every child will be proud to possess an idealist mother. There are three basic qualities that rule the heart of a mom with ideals; and these three qualities make these mothers romantic, intuitive and enthusiastic. By nature they make very nurturing, doting and kind hearted mothers. If you know that your mother exactly fits into the category of an idealist mother, the knowledge will help you to deal with your mom better.

If you have an idealist mother you have to pay much more importance to your personal growth and development because they are passionate about the personal growth and development of a person. They brim with enthusiasm and let their enthusiasm infect others around her. The romanticism in their nature does not allow them to be practical in the ways of life.

Among the idealist mothers we have the famous personality of Audrey Hepburn. You can take queues about your own idealist mom by going through the character traits of this famous personality.

Rational Mothers

A rational mother would be naturally very logical in their thoughts and actions. They would be absolutely even-tempered and of a fiercely independent nature. Their minds are constantly busy trying to understand how this world works.

Their apparent lack of emotion can be very easily mistaken for coldness but we must try and understand that deep down they are always busy in finding out a solution for making this world a better place for you to live in. They are very determined by nature and absolutely dedicated to the project in hand. Rational mothers will definitely make very balanced mothers.

Margaret Thatcher is a very well known personality among the rational mothers.

Guardian Mothers

Guardian mothers have a supreme sense of responsibility, which make them a dependent and responsible mom. But this quality also makes them known to be difficult mothers.

Guardian mothers are very law-abiding. You can trust your guardian mother with any kind of secret, as they are very trustworthy and loyal. They are traditional in their thoughts and ways as they value their custom a lot. Their strong sense of right and wrong adds to making them difficult to deal with. But at the same time being raised up by such a mom will mean that you grow up to be a perfect individual. Such a mom will make a perfectionist out of you and will definitely bring out the best in you.

Queen Victoria is a famous example of a guardian mother.

"My mother had a slender, small body, but a large heart - a heart so large that everybody's joys found welcome in it, and hospitable accommodation." -- Mark Twain

Mark Twain and I have one thing in common - we have moms with large hearts!
My mom has been my pillar of strength for as long as I can remember. Her faith in me has never wavered, even when I do things that she does not agree with! Thank you mom!
I had the good fortune of staying away from home for a few years, and I call it good fortune because the years away from home made me recognize how much I had come to depend on her for everything.
Usually I don't like these special days allotted to show our love, but I make an exception for mother's day because I tend to take her for granted for the rest of the year. On this special day I will tell her how much I love her!
I am going to post this here and get my mom to sign up on Inclusive Planet and read this! :) I would love for her to read this here!

There are many special things you can do for your mother today, but the least you can do is write a post to tell her how you feel and show it to her. For some of you, it would make your mom happy to let you spend more time on Inclusive Planet! ;)

Go on, add a new post and write whatever you feel like - story, poem, a single line, anything! You can also make an audio recording of your message and upload it here!

Happy Mother's Day! Tell your mom how you feel!

Dont stay late in office
Long Though Interesting.

Hi Parul,
I see you every night sitting in the office till very late. Don’t you have friends? Don’t you feel like talking to your roommate?
You should not sit very late in the office. this is a genuine advice from me.
Thanks,
Rahul Mehra


After reading the mail, Parul was very angry on the sender. She simply deleted the mail and said to herself “who is he to give me any advice?”. She
again got back
to her work.
After that night, every night Rahul would keep sending her mails and Parul would simply delete them without even reading the content of the mail. But
one fine
night the subject line attracted her and she had to open the mail. The subject line of the mail was “Hi Gorgeous”
Hi Gorgeous,
Yes today you are looking very gorgeous in this red saree. I know you don’t read my mails as you don’t like the advices I give you.
So today I wont give you any advice, I will just say that I am love with you. You know you are very beautiful and if you take care of yourself many men
will fall in
love with you.
I am sure someday you will also fall in love with me. And then we will go out for a date.
Oh before I end the mail I must tell you that the best thing about is that smile. Or is it those intense which needs some sleep at the moment.
Take care dear.
Love you.
Rahul Mehra.


After reading the mail she was shocked. A person she had never met, never seen, never spoke to was saying that he was in love with her. She started
thinking was
this always in his mind. How did he get her id? Where had he seen her? Many questions like this came in her mind. Finally she thought of giving a
warning and
replied to his mail.
Hi Rahul,
I don’t want to spoil your career but if you don’t stop sending me mails I will raise an ASHI against you.
Thanks and Regards,
Parul Jain


After this mail, the mails from Rahul stopped coming in Parul’s inbox. She thought that finally Rahul has got scared and wont be mailing her again. After
several
nights, Parul was resting on her chair and her eyes closed. When she opened her eyes she saw Rahul’s mail in her mailbox.
Hi Gorgeous,
With your closed eyes you were dreaming about me, right? Oh sorry for not sending any mails in the last few days.
I was a little busy. I am sure you would have missed me a lot.
One more thing before I forget I want to say that I am not scared of ASHI. An ASHI cant be a reason to stop loving you.
Love you.
Rahul Mehra


Parul was twisting her hair and putting them behind her ears. At that moment itself another mail came from Rahul,
Now stop playing with your hair and leave the office. it is very late.
Love.
Rahul Mehra


Parul was shocked as to how did this person know what she was doing on her desk. She got up to check whether anyone was there in her floor but
could find
only empty cubicles. She thought maybe he made a wild guess and decided to leave the office. before leaving she saw another mail from Rahul.
Hi Parul,
Searching for me??? You have started falling in love with me. J
Love you.
Rahul Mehra


Parul was shocked and scared to hell. She simply switched off her machine and ran outside the office. in the next few days she would not open any
mails sent by
Rahul. One night a mail with subject line “Don’t be scared of me” came to her mailbox. First she thought to ignore the mail then she thought lets see
what has
Rahul written this time.
Hi Parul,
Don’t be scared of me. I can say that you are scared of me because of the way you ran out from the office the last time you read my mail.
I know few minutes back you had gone to have coffee. You are thinking how I know this because I can feel you around me.
Only once you also start feeling me you will know that I am near to you. Very near. Just sitting next to you.
I will wait for the night when you start having the same feelings for me.
Will always love you.
Rahul Mehra


Now Parul started thinking was Rahul really in love with her? What he was saying was it true? But how could he know so much about her? How could he
say
what she was doing and what not? Parul thought lets give a try and see whether Rahul is always in love with her or not. From that night she also started
replying
to his mail.
Hi Parul,
Do you feel bad if I call you gorgeous?
Love you.
Rahul Mehra


Parul’s reply:
Yes Rahul. I don’t like this word.
You can address me as Parul, isn’t it short and simple. and I love my name a lot.
Thanks and Regards,
Parul Jain


Rahul’s reply:
Point noted Parul. But when I am happy, excited I would call you with some special name at that time.
Tomorrow you have your certification so all the best for that.
Love you.
Rahul Mehra


Parul was again shocked as to how does he know about her certification. She had never told him. She replied
Rahul,
Who is the person who is giving you details about me? I had not told you about my certification how do you know it?
Thanks and regards,
Parul Jain
Rahul replied back to her
I know it because I in front of you. Cant you see me? Cant you feel me close to you?
I also know that after 3 days you have your appraisal. Now this you have not told anyone. Just your PM knows about it.
Do you think your PM will give me all these details?
Love you.
Rahul Mehra
Parul not sure of the answer. She knew her PM would not have told Rahul all this but how did Rahul know so much about her was a mystery for her.
Finally she
thought she will talk to her PM, Rohan.
Next day, she went to her PM’s desk. “Hi Rohan. I wanted to ask you something”.
Rohan:- “Sure Parul. Are having any issues?”
Parul:- “No. actually I wanted to know about a person named Rahul Mehra.”
Rohan was shocked on hearing that name. PM:- “How did you come across this name. has anyone told you about him?”
Parul:- “No one has said anything to me about him. Few days back he started sending me e-mails. First I ignored but then he would give such details
which I did
just few minutes back. He even knows my appraisal date.”
Rohan:- “Are you sure you got mails from Rahul Mehra only?”
Parul:- “Yes very much. But why do you looked shock?”
Rohan:- “Because Rahul Mehra died 2 years back. He use to sit at the same place where you are sitting. How can a dead person send mails to you.”
Parul was shocked. She didn’t know how to react to this.
Rohan:- “If you don’t believe me then you can try finding his name in the telephone directory. Maybe someone told you about him and because of work
stress you
started imagining that he is sending you mails.”
Parul:- “I am not imagining anything. He has really send me a mail. I can show you in my mailbox.”
Rohan:- “Okay Parul I believe you but still I think you should take a break and go home.”
Parul was still in shock with the news she got from Rohan. She just did a search on telephone directory for a name with Rahul Mehra and page returned
no
records. She again checked the mail id and employee number details. She did a search many times that day by putting various combinations but the
search page
displayed the same message “No matches found for the given search criteria”. She could not believe that someone could hack the system and send
mails to her
from an non-existing id. She attached the mails sent by Rahul and sent it to Rohan as a proof that she was not dreaming.
On seeing the attached mails even Rohan was in shock. He came to Parul’s desk. Rohan:- “I think by mistake his id has not been deleted and
someone who knows
about it is playing with it.”
Parul:- “But I checked the details on telephone directory there are no records available for this id.”
Rohan:- “Talk to the CCD people and see what they have to say.”
She called up the CCD people. They took control over her system and looked at the mail sent by Rahul Mehra. The mail was sent from the from the
same computer
which Parul was using. The time stamp at which the mails were sent Parul had logged in. Also there was no evidence that a remote desktop
connection was made
or mail was sent through web mail. Even the CCD people were clueless as to how a mail has been sent from a non-existing id and from Parul’s system
itself.
There were no viruses or torjans or any other kind of threats on Parul’s system. Her anti-virus was upto date. The whole day was gone in finding a
loophole as to
how did Parul get such a mail in her mailbox. Parul was tierd from the day’s happening and so she decided to leave early from the office that day.
The next day when Parul came back, she saw a mail from Rahul Mehra. She didn’t know whether she should delete that mail or read that mail. She
was scared to
open the mail. Somehow she gained some courage and opened the mail. The context of the mail was:-
Hi Parul,
Good to see that you left the office early tonight. I know Rohan told you about my death.
I was also a workaholic like you. I would sit late in the office, even when no one was around me.
I just being at office. I had no friends, no social life. Even on weekends I would use to come to office.
I missed all the fun in my life. Even my death happened at office while I was working.
My dead body was found by the house keeping guy and the security guard at the reception.
I took a lot of work stress which my conscious mind could not bear that day. I ignored all the health problems I was having.
And finally on that night (20. 10. 07, 11:24 PM) all these reasons became responsible for my death.
Now you know why I am not scared of ASHI.
But yes if I was alive then also I wont be scared of ASHI because I have really fallen in love with you but we cant be together until your death.
Now the choice is yours whether you will kill yourself on your own or whether I need to do the honors.
Waiting for your death. Love you always.
Rahul Mehra


Some love stories have ghost in it…
Cheers!

Everybody has a favourite love song. A song that reminds them of someone special. A song that makes you sad or happy.

The song Lips of an Angel by Hinder is one such haunting melody. Listen to it here - http://bit.ly/KUBCS

What love songs do you like listening to?

]I walked strait every day to my shop where dreams were sold at a very cheap rate. I was much appreciated because my products were created in a special way in a dark room taking examples from others.
I experienced immense demand for them. I usually laughed at my customers who appreciated my products because I could see lack of quality in it. I walked strait to my shop where I sold dreams and walked with an increase speed.
My path was rough. It was a roughness which I created after knowing some paths had to be rough. I should say I even enjoyed the mondainity. I had a few people rarely traveling through my road.
One day I could experience a moisture in the atmosphere of my path. I was shocked because rain never visited my road.
As days passed I began to see more changes to my road which made my journey to my shop a new experience. Small plants began to grow in my path which I rarely cared.
One day as I passed I could see a man running fast in order to escape from me. I could clearly see his face and when he noticed that I had seen him he stopped. He had mud in his hand and I could easily conclude that it was he who did gardening in my path. I gave a gentle smile.
The next day he stood there as if he was waiting for me. I gave him hand he accepted. As the days passed we had small chats but he never told me why he was doing a lot of hard work in the sides of my road. I knew that he enjoyed it.
One day I asked him “why are you hear spending your good time for me?” he suddenly hugged me and before I could return back his kiss I could feel his body growing soft gradually, bangles on his hands, look of his face changing, a sudden heat between us and his walks suddenly turned in to dance. I was jolted but could not say nothing (even a no).

I said her that it was cloudy in this area for the most of time and sun never came here. She said me to be quite and indulged in caring for plants.
Flowers began to bloom and she looked more happy. I began to find time to caring for her flowers. She helped me with various techniques of making dreams. I knew more about her and tried to assist her also.
I began to create miracles in my business thanks to her admiration. She made me to disbelieve many things which I falsely learned in the past.
There were many flowers but I never plucked, caressed or touched. I got enticed in its smell but we were determined to enjoy it after finding a suitable time. Many birds came to sit on the trees in my path. Flutes began to sing and the song was melodious.
As days passed the number of flowers reduced. I could see her standing in my path doing nothing and when ever asked she nodded without uttering a word. Some days she did not visit my garden path.
I tried to sprinkle water but I realized I could not do it myself. The flowers began to look like plastic and pretended they did not require water to grow.
One day she came told that the flowers from my garden could only fetch her less price! I never knew she sold it and I just looked at her in silence.
I knew that I was hesitated to see my path as rough as before but she never came to create flowers. I tried to sell my dreams more and it went well.
As days passed wind carried the smell of flowers from some were and I could realize a garden blooming in distance. Whenever I think of her I smiled thanking her in making my path a garden for a little period because that was a task which the world never dare to do. I knew that she was just my path maker and I was my dream seller.
one day I ran back from my shop and bursted In to tears. A small group of people stopped me wiped my tears and said me to create my dreams more beautifully and I will be a successful seller one day. I had no choice other than listening them.
I walked back to shop and today I am making a dream titled “not for sale” it was dream about a girl who took my dream without paying me anything to make a hut in the meadow near my shop for us to live.

hello there. i am adrian from edmonton alberta canada.i love to meet new friends

Scars of Love
Some years ago,
on a hot summer day

in South Florida ,

a little boy decided to go

for a swim in the old swimming hole behind his house.

In a hurry to dive into

the cool water,

he ran out the back door, leaving behind shoes, socks, and shirt as he went.

He flew into the water,

not realizing that as he swam toward the middle of the lake, an alligator was swimming toward the shore.
His father, working in the yard, saw the two as they got closer and closer together.

In utter fear,

he ran toward the water,

yelling to his son as loudly

as he could.
Hearing his voice,

the little boy became alarmed and made a U-turn

to swim to his father.

It was too late.

Just as he reached his father, the alligator reached him.
>From the dock,

the father grabbed his little boy by the arms

just as the alligator

snatched his legs....

That began an incredible

tug-of-war between the two. The alligator was much stronger than the father,

but the father was much

too passionate to let go.
A farmer happened to drive by, heard his screams,

raced from his truck,

took aim and shot the alligator.
Remarkably, after weeks and weeks in the hospital,

the little boy survived.

His legs were extremely scarred by the vicious attack

of the animal.

And, on his arms,

were deep scratches

where his father's fingernails dug into his flesh in his effort

to hang on to the son he loved.
The newspaper reporter

who interviewed the boy

after the trauma,

asked if he would

show him his scars.

The boy lifted his pant legs. And then, with obvious pride, he said to the reporter,

'But look at my arms..

I have great scars

on my arms, too..

I have them because

my Dad wouldn't let go.'
You and I can identify

with that little boy.

We have scars, too.

No, not from an alligator,

but the scars of a painful past. Some of those scars

are unsightly and have

caused us deep regret.

But, some wounds,

my friend,

are because God has refused

to let go.

In the midst of your struggle, He's been there

holding on to you...
The Scripture teaches that

God loves you.

You are a child of God.

He wants to protect you

and

provide for you in every way.

But sometimes we foolishly wade into dangerous situations, not knowing what lies
ahead. The swimming hole of life

is filled with peril -

and we forget
that the enemy is waiting

to attack.

That's when the tug-of-war begins - and if you have

the scars of His love

on your arms,

be very, very grateful.

He did not and will not ever let you go.
Please pass this on

to those you care...

God has blessed you,

so that you

can be

a blessing to others.

You just never know

where

a person is in his/her life

and

what they are going through. Never judge another

person's scars,

because you don't know

how they got them...

Also,

it is so important that

we are not selfish,

to receive the blessings

of these messages,

without forwarding them

to someone else.
Right now,

someone needs to know that God loves them,
and you love them, too -
enough to not let go

april 04, 2010


VIJAY NAGASWAMI


When it comes to love, Indians have always played it safe…Welcome to the world of arranged love.





Photo: Raju V.

Love:Not taboo anymore.

It is an undeniable reality that urban India has not quite made up its mind about which form of mate-seeking behaviour should be favoured in the 21 {+s} {+t} century. The protagonists of ‘traditional Indian values' naturally plump for the ‘arranged marriage'. On the other hand, younger urbanites, and not necessarily those residing only in the metros, seem to favour the do-it-yourself approach. Given that each region in the country has its own love legend, variations on the Laila-Majnu theme, it does seem remarkable that modern India took such a long time to get on the ‘love bandwagon'. However, a closer look at our lore tells us that, more often than not, these love stories end in tragedy. It appears that there is more romance surrounding unrequited, unfulfilled and unconsummated love than its happily-ever-after counterpart. This may well explain why for centuries, Indians decided to hedge their bets, play safe and opt for the ‘arranged love' that supposedly engenders a happily-ever-after scenario, even if it lacked the verve and dash of romantic legend.

A little more daring


The new Indian though, seems to be more entrepreneurial when it comes to choosing a mate. Young people are falling in love in far larger numbers than ever before and ‘the love marriage' is no longer a few-and-far-between sort of phenomenon. More interesting than the fact that the incidence of love marriages is on the rise, is the fact that such events provoke less hysteria, panic and rage than they used to. Elopement is no longer de rigueurfor the protagonists; today there is a higher probability of parental permission and elders' blessings being obtained. In order to facilitate this, many youngsters are resorting to what one of my clients described as a ‘love-cum-arranged' marriage. What is meant by this is that young people fall in love with someone who, in their assessment, has a high likelihood of being accepted by their parents. Having done this, they persuade their respective parents to go through all the ‘traditional procedures' involved in firming up the alliance and organising the wedding. And all is well.

Or is it? More often than the liberal thinker would be comfortable with, some parents, even when presented with an excellent choice of partner by their child, react huffily and refuse to bless the alliance, proffering some patently irrational reasons for doing so. The principal underlying dynamic in operation here is control (the famed parental ego). ‘It is my job to choose a partner for you and I will not have you find one for yourself' seems to be the unstated feeling. I have seen many potentially workable marriages scuttled on the basis of the we-know-better-what-is-good-for-you contention. And they use basically one of two arguments to substantiate their hypothesis.

The first of these is that couples in love marriages fight more, as a result of which more love marriages end up in divorce than do arranged marriages. Nothing could be further from the truth. Although it is true that today increasing numbers of couples are seeking legal redress for an emotional issue, this has nothing to do with how they chose their partners. Couples in arranged marriages also fight as hard and the incidence of divorce in arranged marriages is as high. The reasons for people seeking divorce more easily today than ever before are quite complex and linked to changing social dynamics, but love marriages do not suffer more on this score. The second argument is the old it-goes-against-Indian-culture theory. These parents insist that they got married in accordance with Indian cultural norms using the tried-and-tested arranged marriage paradigm, and didn't it work for them (even if it clearly did not)? However, given how much Indian culture has changed over the last decade or so, this argument has fortunately begun to wash much less now than it used to.

Whatever works


It all boils down to the question, which is better — arranged or love marriage? There is no answer to this one, simply because neither is better. The only essential difference is that when two people fall in love and get married, they ‘own' the marriage. They can't blame it on the parents. In arranged marriages this sense of ‘ownership' comes in much later, if at all. However, a recent phenomenon in arranged marriage partner choice is a very heart-warming development. Ever since Internet marriage portals took over our collective consciousness, young people participate more actively in the screening process. Also, they insist on speaking or chatting or skyping with and getting to know the partner a bit, before making a commitment. Once they have worked out a short-list, they leave it to the parents to do the final weeding out. As a result, they too feel a greater ownership of their arranged marriage.

Ownership of the marriage is the single most important factor in predicting a good outcome. So, whether you fall in love and get married or whether love comes to you after the wedding, it is owning and working on your marriage that determines how successful it will be. The right choice is the one that works for you!





The writer is the author of the forthcoming Fifty-50 Marriage: Return to Intimacy and can be contacted at vijay.nagaswami@gmail.com

source: the hindu sunday magazine

I used up this whole life
waiting for her to arrive
and now there is nothing left
but her presence here
in a thousand poems.

- taken from cleansheets.com

By Richard Boock - Sunday Star Times

OPINION: THE 1953 Tangiwai rail disaster continues to revisit us. A Christmas Eve lahar, a bridge swept away; a chilling, harrowing end for 151 souls on board the Overnight Express. One was the fiancee of a man who sat at the Basin Reserve yesterday watching the first test against Australia. Bob Blair was 21 when he learnt he'd lost the love of his life. He was in a Johannesburg hotel room at the time, just hours away from opening the bowling for New Zealand in the second test at Ellis Park.

His story of tragedy and courage remains one of the defining chapters of New Zealand sport. There was no international telephone connection in South Africa at the time of the disaster; the most expedient method of communication was by telegram. Overseas air travel was a thing of the future, and the boat trip took 28 days. Blair was overcome with grief and wanted to go home, but there was no point. He couldn't even get back within a month, let alone in time for the funeral.

The former New Zealand fast bowler, now living in Cheshire, England, was visiting his homeland this week with wife Barbara as the story of his defiant stand, in combination with the other hero of the day, Bert Sutcliffe, began taking on another dimension. Jonny Brugh's theatre production, The Second Test, has started playing in Wellington, a book authored by Norman Harris is soon to be launched, and TVNZ has commissioned a movie that follows the saga.

It is, as the late and fondly-remembered cricket writer Dick Brittenden once wrote, a story that every New Zealand child should learn at their parents' knee.

Blair was left grieving at the hotel as the New Zealanders arrived at the ground for the start of the second day's play. It was a sweltering hot Boxing Day and word had spread of the tragedy. The flags of the Dominion and the Union hung limply at half-mast and a sympathetic crowd of 23,000 seemed well aware of the tourists' plight.

Blair listened on the hotel radio as New Zealand, having finished off its hosts' first innings, found itself on the wrong end of a near-lethal attack from South African paceman Neil Adcock. Everyone was hit. Sutcliffe was knocked unconscious and rushed to hospital. Lawrie Miller left the field coughing blood, Johnny Beck was hit so hard in the groin, his box was turned inside out. John Reid was left black and blue, Frank Mooney was peppered.

Sutcliffe collapsed twice, again at hospital but returned to the ground to resume the battle, re-entering the fray at six down. It was at about this point that Blair had heard enough on the hotel radio. He told the manager, Jack Kerr, that he wanted to help his mates; that he needed to go down to the venue. As the pair headed for Ellis Park in a taxi, Sutcliffe was cutting loose in an innings that would eventually realise an unbeaten 80, including seven sixes.

But the dashing left-hander soon found himself running out of partners. Mooney, Tony MacGibbon and Guy Overton departed and the players started leaving the field, believing Blair to be back at the hotel. And then it happened. Just as patrons rose to acclaim Sutcliffe, a figure appeared from the tunnel and started walking towards the middle. The crowd, about to cheer and applaud, was suddenly rendered silent. Sutcliffe went to his stricken team-mate and put an arm around his shoulders.

"C'mon son, this is no place for you. Let's swing the bat at the ball and get out of here."

Brittenden wrote vividly of the effect of that scene. Blair's team-mates in the gallery above were weeping openly, as were the South Africans and Sutcliffe. Blair had to wipe tears from his face before receiving his first delivery. And then would come the roar of defiance. Sutcliffe would hit three sixes off a Hugh Tayfield over, and take a single to bring Blair on strike. To the delight of the crowd the Wellington paceman would swing the final ball of the over high over the midwicket boundary and into the terraces.

It would be a day Blair could never forget, but for the worst of reasons. Christmas Eve would always be the day he lost his sweetheart, Nerissa Love. To make matters worse during the tour of 1953-54, letters that Nerissa had written to Blair before her death would continue to arrive at the team hotel for weeks afterwards. New Zealand would lose the second test and the series, but the character shown at Ellis Park would earn a respect beyond anything an international victory could offer.

"It is not the result of the match that will be best remembered when men come together to talk about cricket," said the Rand Daily Mail, in an article later reproduced in Men in White. "They will speak of a match that was as much worth watching as it was worth playing, a match the New Zealanders decided must go on. And if the rest of the world still wonders what it is all about, the only possible answer is that, if men are going to play, they can do a lot worse than play cricket."

Blair typified that approach. His presence this week has reminded us that, however much the game might have changed in one man's partial lifetime, some things have always remained the same. Equipment may have evolved, pitch preparation might have advanced and the age of professionalism might offer the modern player far more opportunity. But one thing has never changed: The size of a man's ticker has always counted the most.

What have you been saying to the one you love? Do you tell
him or her how you feel, romantically, I mean? Many of us find it
hard to express our romantic or sexual feelings. We are afraid to
seem too needy, too infatuated, too pushy or too horny. Meanwhile,
inside we are filled with desire, passion, and a need to be as
close, as intimate, as we can be to the one we love. So what do
we do? What do we say?
Words come hard when we are face to face with the person we
love. Words come a bit easier on the phone. And they seem to be
easiest to express in writing. Cards, E-mail, letters are a lot
easier to compose. When you write to someone, you can take your
time putting into words exactly what you want to say. Many times
when you are face to face or on the phone, your nerves get in the
way of you thoughts and your tongue. You might say the wrong thing
or say something you feel but which comes out all wrong. One
positive aspect of saying it live is that you sometimes get instant
feedback and you can quickly correct any misstatements or
misunderstandings. If you send something by mail, your words sit
there in your loved one's face and he or she is left wondering what
you mean by them.
It's good to talk. If you feel good about what someone has
said or written to you, or how their affection and attention have
made you feel, try to let him or her know. There's no need to go
overboard. Just drop a hint. If you say nothing, your special
someone will wonder if he or she has said something you do not
like.
I have tried to figure out why some of us are so afraid to
express our innermost feelings, our most intimate emotions, why we
are terrified to respond to the loving feelings others express
toward us. Of course, one reason can be that we do not share those
feelings and would just rather not tell the person that such
feelings are not mutual, thereby hurting him or her. That's not
a good idea. It leaves the person, who is expressing his or her
heartfelt emotions, confused, hanging, wondering.
Another reason for not responding to words of love can be
fear. Fear that we are not really that good. We feel we don't
deserve all this praise or affection. This might be because,
throughout our lives, we were never seen as loveable, handsome,
pretty, desirable, or sexually appealing. But when you are loved
by someone, for whatever reason, you become desirable to that
person. And he or she needs to know you have feelings for him or
her, too. Love is a two-way street.
You have to try to give little gifts of love. I don't mean
things, objects. I mean words. Words from you heart. Just
something to let the one who loves you know he or she is making you
feel loved.
Too often when someone says he or she wants to hug us or kiss
us, we might think this is just a need for sex or a desire on the
other person's part to feel reassured that he or she is sexy. But
is that what all this is really all about? It very well might be.
But if you are a pet owner, how often do you hug and kiss your pet?
My cat is always getting hugged or kissed by me. This isn't about
sex. It's about love. My cat and I are very close. We respect
each other and show affection for each other. There is a need in
both of us for that closeness that has nothing to do with sex. I
agree lovers are not pets or animals. Well, not all are. ;-)
Maybe some are some of the time. It does get confusing!
Seriously, we need to try to show our feelings for each other.
We need to open ourselves up to the man or woman we love, and who
loves us. I know this is not easy. Many of us have been badly
hurt by those we thought we could trust. We have been used and
abused. Some of us have been emotionally and sexually exploited.
All I can say is we have to go slow, get to know the one who says
he or she loves us, and try to develop trust. Trust for him or
her, and trust for our own feelings. I don't mean you have to say
things like, "I want to tear your clothes off and make passionate
love with you." But try to say things like, "You make me feel
loved." Your man or woman friend needs to feel he or she is making
you feel good. A good man or woman will probably stop saying these
affectionate things to you if he or she doesn't get some positive
feedback from you when he or she says them. Without that feedback,
he or she will assume only he or she feels that way. And you do
not. So if you share these feelings of love, say what's in your
heart. By doing so, you'll warm the heart of the person who cares
deeply about you. And he or she will continue to warm yours.

A beautiful love story

Here is an amazing love story . Read on..!He met her on a party. She
was so outstanding, many guys chasing after her, while he so normal,
nobody paid attention to him. At the end of the party, he invited her
to have coffee with him, she was surprised, but due to being polite,
she promised. They sat in a nice coffee shop, he was too nervous to
say anything, she felt uncomfortable, she thought, please, let me go
home.... suddenly he asked the waiter. "would you please give me some
salt? I'd like to put it in my coffee." Everybody stared at him, so
strange! His face turned red, but still, he put the salt in his coffee
and drank it. She asked him curiously; why you have this hobby? He
replied: "when I was a little boy, I was living near the sea, I like
playing in the sea, I could feel the taste of the sea, just like the
taste of the salty coffee. Now every time I have the salty coffee, I
always think of my childhood, think of my hometown, I miss my hometown
so much, I miss my parents who are still living there". While saying
that tears filled his eyes. She was deeply touched.That's his true
feeling, from the bottom of his heart. A man who can tell out his
homesickness, he must be a man who loves home, cares about home, has
responsibility of home. Then she also started to speak, spoke about
her faraway hometown, her childhood, her family. That was a really
nice talk, also a beautiful beginning of their story. They continued
to date. She found that actually he was a man who meets all her
demands; he had tolerance, was kind hearted, warm, careful. He was
such a good person but she almost missed him! Thanks to his salty
coffee! Then the story was just like every beautiful love story , the
princess married to the prince, then they were living the happy
life... And, every time she made coffee for him, she put some salt in
the coffee e, as she knew that's the way he liked it. After 40 years,
he passed away, left her a letter which said: "My dearest, please
forgive me, forgive my whole life lie. This was the only lie I said to
you---the salty coffee. Remember the first time we dated? I was so
nervous at that time, actually I wanted some sugar, but I said salt It
was hard for me to change so I just went ahead.I never thought that
could be the start of our communication! I tried to tell you the truth
many times in my life, but I was too afraid to do that, as I have
promised not to lie to you for anything.. Now I'm dying, I afraid of
nothing so I tell you the truth: I don't like the salty coffee, what a
strange bad taste.. But I have had the salty coffee for my whole life!
Since I knew you, I never feel sorry for anything I do for you. Having
you with me is my biggest happiness for my whole life. If I can live
for the second time, still want to know you and have you for my whole
life,even though I have to drink the salty coffee again". Her tears
made the letter totally wet.Someday, someone asked her: what's the
taste of salty coffee?It's sweet. She replied.Love is not 2 forget but
2 forgive, not 2 c but 2 understand, not 2 hear but 2 listen, not 2
let go but 2 HOLD ON !!!! Don't ever leave the one you love for the
one you like, because the one you like will leave you for the one they
love. Find a guy, who calls you beautiful instead of hot. Who calls
you back when you hang up on him. Who will stay awake just to watch
you sleep. Who holds your hand in front of his friends.Wait for the
one who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and
how lucky he is to have you. Wait for the one who turns to his friends
and says, "...that's her."

There are some doctor-nurse romances that end happily ever after. Then there are some that die a natural death. And then, there are some that end in big public fights and court tangles. One such case that is now in Supreme Court has all the ingredients of a masala movie. A nurse has alleged rape against a doctor and has sought a DNA test of her child, a plea the court has stayed. The doctor defends himself by saying that it is nothing but blackmail and that he was merely helping out with a sperm donation to his office assistant and the nurse offered surrogacy to his assistant for a charge. The office assistant is since missing as the doctor-nurse bitter battle unfolds in court with no signs of abating. SHALINI SAKSENA tries to make sense of this tangled tale

It’s complicated. And, it is far from being worked out. It could be all kinds of issues gone wrong — could be surrogacy, could be breach of promise, could be rape, could be a crazy sperm story or just a lover’s tiff gone horribly, terribly wrong.

So wrong actually that the woman is now alleging rape, the man says he was merely helping out with a sperm donation, and the Supreme Court has stayed a DNA test on the result of this donation — four-year-old cherubic boy Abhishek who may grow up wondering what his parents were up to in those initial years of his life, if at all, that is, he gets to know who his father is.

The story, which has flummoxed everyone who has come in touch with it, goes something like this:

A nurse from Kerala comes to Ghaziabad looking for job with her ‘husband’ Biju John. Through an acquaintance, Siji gets a job at Yashlok Hospital in Sahibabad. She is given a staff quarter to live in. Meanwhile, the ‘husband’ finds a job for himself in Dubai and leaves. Siji finds solace in her work.

Now, Siji denies John was ever her husband. “This is all lies. How can my cousin be my husband? Biju John is my uncle’s son. Not my husband,” she says. Her driving licence, however, states her husband’s name as Biju John.

But then she also has a passport which has another name altogether for her husband — and that’s Stephen. Siji claims, Stephen and she were married off at a tender age and he was a compulsive wife beater. “The violence continued for 10 years until one day I divorced him and left Kerala and came to Ghaziabad,” she tells you.

Once in Ghaziabad, life ran smoothly for two years. But one day, everything collapsed around her. In 2005, she claims, she was raped by her employer whom she had trusted – Dr Pradeep Gupta, the owner of two clinics and a much married man with two children, one of whom is doing her MBBS.

Siji, meanwhile, has left her job with Gupta and now works as a nurse for a school in Sahibabad. “I will fight for justice till the end. Today my son can’t live without me. But when he is 18 and asks me who his father is and I don’t have an answer, the love will turn into hate. I can live with everything but not the hate of my son,” Siji says.

While it lasted, Siji says Dr Gupta was a caring man. He made sure she didn’t go alone anywhere as she didn’t know Hindi very well. A peon would escort her everywhere. “But when you work for 14-15 hours in close proximity you tend to develop feelings for the other person,” Siji says, explaining her lure for her employer.

But she hastens to add that it all started with force. “Though it all started with force I didn’t fight the doctor much. The next morning, I realised the gravity of my action and went to Dr Gupta’s wife Dr Seema Gupta, a gynaecologist, who runs a separate nursing home.

The doctor, on the other hand, claims he never touched Siji, not even with a barge pole. “Though it is true that Siji had come looking for a job and my wife gave it to her, the rest is all concocted,” Dr Gupta tells you.

The truth according to Dr Gupta is that he had an office assistant, a Dilawar Singh, who had been working for him for 10-12 years. Sadly, he and his wife were unable to conceive a child. “He is a man of limited means and we all know how much it costs to go for artificial insemination. I just wanted to help him, I now know it was a mistake, but at that time helping him was my prime concern. I am a doctor first. So I gave him my sperm sample. Had I known that Singh had some sort of an understanding for surrogacy with the nurse Siji, I would have never allowed it. I came to know of it much later, when a case was registered against,” he claims.

Dilawar, of course, is nowhere to be found and the doctor insists he does not know where he is. Dr Gupta insists that Siji had offered to be a surrogate for Dilawar’s child (from the doctor’s sperm) for Rs 1 lakh. Desperate for a child, Dilawar gave her a cheque of Rs 40,000 and Rs 10,000 in cash. His passbook shows a cheque transfer in Siji’s name.

“The doctor is trying to cover up his deeds. Would anyone believe that a doctor as famous as Dr Gupta would donate his sperm to his clerk? He is a doctor, does he not know that it takes special clinics and equipment for artificial insemination. Would he give his sample to a rickshaw-puller,” asks Siji boring holes into the story.

“I admit when Dr Gupta forced himself on me that night I did not offer much resistance as I had developed a soft spot for him. But I also knew that he was married and that the act had been a mistake and I went to his wife. What she said left me thunder-struck. She told me she had nothing to do with her husband and that I should get used to it. Why was I making so much fuss about it? The next morning, the doctor apologised, promising it would not happen again. Gullible as I was, I believed him,” Siji recounts. This was in 2005.

After a few weeks, Siji realised she was pregnant. “I went running to Dr Gupta. He was thrilled. ‘He will be brought up like a king’s son. Don’t worry,’ he told me. And things did change. He treated me like a queen. I thought I had finally found happiness. But it did not last long. I was in my seventh month when Dr Seema Gupta’s sister Rekha came to take over the administration of the two nursing homes. I remember the day she came to me waving the keys in her hand. ‘Let us see how the good doctor looks your way now,’ she said. Shortly afterwards, Dr Gupta stopped talking to me,” Siji claims.

Some of Dr Gupta’s neighbours say Siji did live with him. They claim, he was so enamoured with her that her word was law in the hospital. Not a thing moved without her consent. But things changed. The administration and finances of the two clinics went into the hands of Rekha. The access to easy money and power for Siji dried up and that’s when things started turning sour.

“If money was the issue for Siji she would have taken it and disappeared. Why would she want to malign her name like this? The society is never kind to a rape victim. The men think she is easy prey, the women look at her with distaste. It is about giving the child respectability. She should be able to hold her head high in society and not live in shame,” says Siji’s friend Neeta.

“It is all about money and nothing else. If I had raped her in 2005, why did she wait for two years to file a report? A victim doesn’t wait that long. When she realised that the sperm Dilawar had was actually mine, it dawned on her that could get more money. Hence, the allegation. Our law is such that it supports women. I am not saying you don’t take action. All I am asking for is a hearing. How can you convict a person without hearing his version. Nobody, neither the police nor the law is listening to me. There has been no action or probe into the case my wife has filed against Siji,” Dr Gupta says.

Of course, Siji has an entirely convincing version to this. “I didn’t wait for two years to file the report. What happened to me from then till the time I went to the police station is hair-raising. In my seventh month, the doctor forced himself on me yet again. Being the father of my unborn child I gave in. How was I to know what his real intention was? I didn’t realise all this was just a ruse to insert three 200 mg of cytalog. (The tablet is used for early stage abortion). He then gave me some juice to drink and asked me to go to sleep. Around 4 am, I had severe contractions. I rushed to the bathroom where two of those three pills popped out of me. I brought out the third myself. Being a nurse I immediately knew what tablet it was. Fearing for my child’s life, I drove to a nearby nursing home — Khushi Maternity and Medical Center. There I was treated by a Dr Nupur Sharma who saved my child,” says Siji.

Interestingly, Dr Sharma has filed a statement in court which says, Siji came to her on January 9, 2006 with stomach cramps. On examination it was found that her uterus had started to open. With medication, the situation was brought under control and Siji was discharged after 24 hours.

The statement also says that Siji had come to Dr Sharma in 2005 for a check-up which showed she was pregnant. She was very scared that she might not be able to carry this baby as she had already had a miscarriage. This baby was very important to her as her husband was away in Dubai. For this purpose Siji was given HCG injections for 12 weeks, Dr Sharma’s statement says.

Coming back to what transpired after January 9, 2006, Siji turned angry and abusive. She called up Dr Gupta abusing him for wanting to kill her unborn child. “He was once again extremely apologetic and said he had been influenced by others and that he would never again do such a thing. I went back to work for him once again. A calm descended over the clinics. Until one day, in my eighth month of pregnancy, a staffer came and told me I should run away as a plot was being hatched to kill me,” says Siji.

Shaken to the core, Siji returned to Kerala and called up Dr Gupta to tell him not to look for her. “He begged me to return. I switched off my phone so that I would not get swayed,” Siji recalls.

On March 2006, Siji gave birth to a healthy baby boy. It took her another few months before she was able to garner enough courage and energy to return to Ghaziabad with a firm resolution to fight for her son’s due.

“I wrote to various women’s cells. I didn’t realise I could go to the police station and file a case. It was a women’s helpline that got the police to lodge an FIR. On August 20, 2007, a case of rape was filed against Dr Gupta,” Siji says.

From here on, things got really complicated. To prove the child’s paternity, the cops asked for a DNA test. The doctor appealed in Supreme Court and a stay was granted. But before the case reached Supreme Court, Allahabad High Court had cancelled a similar stay on DNA test granted to Dr Gupta by the trial court in Ghaziabad.

“In our special petition we urged the SC to stay the test on grounds that it might have devastating results for the child. A positive result would put a permanent blemish on him. A negative result would be equally ugly as it would suggest that the nurse/mother had wrongly alleged rape against a prominent doctor,” Dr Gupta’s lawyer Arup Banerjee points out.

The case, as it stands, is as murky as it can get. An affidavit by Siji mentions Dr Gupta as her husband! Dr Gupta’s wife Dr Seema files a report against the nurse. The police take no action. The Guptas move court. A double bench of Allahabad High Court order a probe on February 26, 2009. Instead of investigating the matter, an FR is filed by the police in the first week of March. No action is taken against the nurse. Dr Seema approaches the court once again on August 2009. No action taken on that as well.

“All I want is that the guilty be punished. The fact that no action has been taken against the nurse despite the fact that she had two husbands and she has not taken divorce proves she is not as innocent as she is portraying herself to be. The only reason she is doing all this is because she wants money, lots of it. Initially I was prepared to give it to her thinking that she is needy and it would take care of the child. But her greed increased. Now I will fight, I will fight for truth, says Dr Gupta.

The case has got him in all kinds of ways. His practice has suffered. The once busy Yashlok Hospital looks empty. The Gupta Nursing Home, too, looks run down. “It was bound to happen. I keep a low profile and sit in Gupta Nursing Home. This has only 20 beds. Yashlok has 50. Now only 20 are operational. It doesn’t seem right to admit people and not be able to give them the time and care they require. There are days when I have to go to court or the police station and be there for hours. It is very humiliating. I can’t even tell these people that I have patients waiting for me. It is so different for a woman,” Dr Gupta said, ruefully.

Dilawar Singh is no longer on Dr Gupta’s payroll. All efforts to trace him failed and the doctor is willing to only tell you that, in the end, Dilawar got what he wanted — a child. Earlier this year, his wife gave birth to a girl conceived through artificial insemination, and this time it is not Dr Gupta’s sperm.

Siji, meanwhile, lives with her son in a cramped Sahibabad apartment on a hand-to-mouth budget. She says she has no scope to indulge in depression and will fight to the finish and win. Her son is growing up too, fortunately for now not asking too many questions.

Well, it happened one night!

source: pioneer, march 14, 2010

There has just been posted a lovely story called “Island love story”, in the Channel The Lighter side of Disability”, and the comment of my friend, Rahul C, has gotten me thinking.

It does seem to me as if relationships between the two sexes tend to develop differently in different Countries, or parts of the World. In most countries, you will then also find sub-cultures.

In South Africa, we have many different cultures, with very different ways of courtship. In some cultures, it is regarded acceptable to keep a lot of wifes, while in the most others, it is definitely not. Amongst some, divorce is even not acceptable.
Of course, marriage has in most cases, nothing to do with what some would call “making love”. I put these words in quotes, as I have never been able to understand why one should try to make love where there is no love to start off, in the first place! But, that’s just a name most of us gives to those kinds of deeds, while many others plainly call it “fucking”, a word which is regarded as really bad language in most cultures. But, whatever you call that animal deed, it’s still more or less the same kind of thing to all of us. Yet, no pair of sexual partners do exactly the same kind of things as other sets of partners. Which shows the induvuduality of people.
And, as Society progresses, cultures change; the most obvious change being that young people start getting involved in it at an earlier stage of their lives. It’s as if no one can wait any more, they want to do it as soon as they find out about it. And children find out much earlier in their lives than before, as Communication means via Technology has improved so much lately.
We are thus now having many, many children who take part in advanced sexual experiences, when they should, at most, only be investigating. And, although the body may be phisicly developed enough, the mind still has to do a lot of educatingitself to do before actual maturity.
At sex at a very young age, has been proofed medicly dangerous, as the young body is still too sensitive, not to speak of the mind of the very young person.
In my young days, we waited for a long time before we tried out things like this, but these days, although all parents are still trying to teach their children not do do what they have done, not many people succeed any more.

How, are things going on in your country in this regard?

Just two years after our marriage, hubby brought up the idea of asking Mother to move from the rural hometown and spend her remaining years with us. Hubby's father passed away while he was still very young. Mother endured much hardship and struggled all on her own to provide for him, see him through to a university degree. You could say that she suffered a great deal and did ev erything you could expect of a woman to

bring hubby to where he is today. I immediately agreed and started packing the spare room, which has a balcony facing the South to let her enjoy the sunshine and plant greenery. Hubby stood in the bright room, and suddenly just picked me up and started spinning round and round. As I begged him to put me down, he said: "Lets go fetch mother." Hubby is tall and big sized and I love to test on his chest and enjoy the feeling

that he could pick me up at any moment put the tiny me into his pockets. Whenever we have an argument and both refuses to back down, he would pick me up and spin me over his head continuously until I surrender and beg for mercy. I became addicted to this kind of panic-joy feeling.

Mother brought along her countryside habits and lifestyle with her. For example; I am so used to buying flowers to decorate the living room, she could not stand it and would comment: "I do not know how you young people spe nd your money, why do you buy flowers for? You also can't eat flowers!" I smiled and said: "Mum, with flowers in the house, our mood will also become better." Mother continues to grumble away, and hubby

smiled: "Mum, this is a city-people's habit; slowly you will get use to it."

Mother stopped saying anything. But every time thereafter, whenever came home with flowers, she would ask me how much it costs. I told her and she would shake her head and express displeasure. Sometimes, when I come home with lots of shopping bags, she would ask each and every item how

much they cost, I would tell her honestly and she would get even more upset about it. Hubby playfully pinched my nose and said: "You little fool, just don't tell her the full price of everything would solve it."

There begins the friction to our otherwise happy lifestyle.

Mother hates it most when hubby wakes up early to prepare the breakfast. In your view, how could the man of the house cook for the wife? At the breakfast table, mother facial expression is always like the dark clouds before a thunderstorm and I would pretend not to notice. She would use her chopsticks and make a lot of noise with it as her silent protest.

As I am a dance teacher in the Children's Palace and am exhausted from along day of dancing around, I do not wish to give up the luxury of that additional few minutes in the comfort of my bed and hence I turned a deaf ear to all the protest mother makes. From time to time, mother would help out with some housework, but soon her help created additional

work for me. For example: she would keep all kinds of plastic bags accumulating them so that she sell them later on, and resulted in our house being filled with all the trash bags; she would scrimp on dish washing detergent when helping to wash the dishes and so as not to hurt her feelings, I would quietly wash them again.

One day, late at night, mother saw me quietly washing the dishes, and "Bam" she slams her bedroom door and cried very loudly in her room... Hubby was placed in a difficult position, and after that, he did not speak to me for that entire night. I pretended to be a spoilt child, tried acting cute, but he totally ignored me.... I got mad and asked him: "What did I do wrong?" Hubby stared at me and said: "Can't you just give in to her once? We couldn't possibly die eating from a bowl however

unclean it is, right?" After that incident, for a long period of time, mother did not speak to me and you can feel that there is a very awkward feeling hanging in the house. During that period of cold war, hubby was caught in dilemma as to who to please.

In order to stop her son from having to prepare breakfast, mother took on the "all important" task of preparing breakfast without any prompting. At the breakfast table, mother would look at hubby happily eating his breakfast and cast that reprimanding stare at me for having failed to perf orm my duty as a wife. To avoid the embarrassing breakfast situation, I resorted to buying my own breakfast on my way to work. That

night, while in bed, hubby was a little upset and asked me: "LD, is it because you think that mum's cooking is not clean that's why you chose not to eat at home?" He then turned his back on me and left me alone in tears as feeling of unfairness overwhelmed me. After some time, hubby sighed: "LD, just for me, can you have breakfast at home?" I am left with no choice but to return to the breakfast table.

The next morning, I was having porridge prepared by mother and I felt a sudden churn in my stomach and everything inside seem to be rushing up my throat. I tried to suppress the urge to throw up but I could not. I threw down the bowl, rushed into the washroom, and vomited everything out. Just as I was catching my breath, I saw mother crying and grumbling very loudly in her dialect, hubby was standing at the washroom doorway staring at me with fire burning in his eyes.. I opened my mouth but no

words came out of it, I really did not mean it.



We had our very first big fight that day; mother took a look at us, then stood up and slowly made her way out of the house. Hubby gave me a final stare in the eye and followed mother down the stairs. For three days, hubby did not return home, not even a phone call. I was so furious, since mother arrived; I had been trying my best and putting up with her, what else do you want me to do? For no reason, I keep having the feeling to throw up and I simply have not appetite for food, coupled with all the events happening at home, I was at then low point in my life.

Finally, a colleague said: "LD, you look terrible; you should go and see a doctor." The doctor confirmed that I am pregnant.

Now it became clear to me why I threw up that fateful morning, a sense of sadness floated through that otherwise happy news. Why didn't hubby, and mother who had been through this before, thought of the possibility of this being the reason that day? At the hospital entrance, I saw my hubby standing there. It had only been three days, but he looked haggard. I had wanted to turn and leave, but one look at him and my heart soften, I couldn't resist and called out to him. He followed my voice and finally found me but he pretended that he doesn't know me; he

has that disgusted look in his eyes that cut right through my heart. I told myself not to look at him anymore, and hail a cab. At that moment, I have such a strong urge inside me to shout to my hubby: "Darling, I am having your baby!" and have him lift me up and spin me around in circles of joy. What I wanted didn't happen and as I sat in the cab, my tears started rolling down. Why? Why our love couldn't even withstand the test

of one fight?

Back home, I lay on the bed thinking about my hubby, and the disgusted look in his eyes. I cried and wet the corner of the blanket. That night, sound of the drawers opening woke me up. I switched on the lights and I saw hubby with tears rolling down his face. He was removing the money. I stared at him in silence; he ignored me, took the bank deposit book and some money and left the house. Maybe he really intends to leave me for good. What a rational man, so clear-cut in love and money matters. I gave a few dried laugh and tears starting streaming down again. The next day, I did not go to work. I wanted to clear this out and have a good talk with hubby. I reached his office and his secretary gave me a weird

look and said: "Mr. Tan's mother had a traffic accident and is now in the hospital."

I stood there in shock. I rushed to the hospital and by the time I found hubby, mother had already passed away. Hubby did not look at me, his face was expressionless. I looked at mother's pale white and thin face and I couldn't control the tears in my eyes. My god, how could this happen? Throughout the funeral, hubby did not say a single word to me, with only the occasional disgusted stare at me. I only managed to find out brief facts about the accident from other people. That day, after mother left the house, she walked in dazed toward the bus stop,

apparently intending to go back to her old house back in the

countryside... As hubby ran after her, she tried to walk faster and as she tried to cross the street, a public bus came and hit her...I finally understood how much hubby must hate me, if I had not thrown up that morning, if we had not quarreled, if....In his heart, I am indirectly the killer of his mother.

Hubby moved into mother's room and came home every night with a strong liquor smell on him. And me, I am buried unde r the guilt and self-pity and could hardly breathe. I wanted to explain to him, tell him that we are going to have our baby soon, but each time, I saw the dead look in his eyes, all the words I have at the brink of my mouth just fell back in. I had rather he hit me real hard or give me a big and thorough scolding though none of these events happening had been my fault at all.

Many days of suffocating silence went by and as the days went by, hubby came home later and later. The deadlock between us continues, we were living together like strangers who don't know each other. I am like the dead knot in his heart.

One day, I passed by a western restaurant, looking into the glass window, I saw hubby and a girl sitting facing each other and he very lightly brushed her hair for her, I understood what it meant. After recovering from that moment of shock, I entered the restaurant, stood in front of my hubby and stared hard at him, not a tear in my eyes. I have nothing to say to him, and there is no need to say anything. The girl looked at me, looks at hubby, stands up and wanted to go, hubby stretched out his hand and stopped her. He stared back at me,challenging me. I can only hear my slow heart beat, beating, one by one as if at the brink of death. I eventually backed down, if I had stood

that any longer, I will collapse together with the baby inside me. That night, he did not come home; he had chosen to use that as a way to indicate to me: Following mother's death so did our love for each other.

He did not come home anymore after that. Sometimes, when I returned home from work, I can tell that the cupboard had been touched - he had returned to take some of his stuff. I no longer wish to call him; the initial desire to explain everything to him vanished. I lived alone; I go for my medical checkups alone, my heart breaks again and again every time I see a guy carefully helping his wife through the physical examination. My office coll eagues hinted to me to consider aborting the baby, I told them No, I will not.. I insisted on having to this baby, perhaps it is my way of repaying mother for causing her death. One day, I came home and I saw hubby sitting in the living room. The whole house was filled with cigarette smoke. On the coffee table, there was this piece of paper. I know what it is all about without even looking at it. In the two months plus of living alone, I have gradually learned to find peace within myself. I looked at him, removed my hat and said: "You wait a while, I will sign." He looked at me, mixed feelings in his eyes, just like mine.

As I hang up my coat, I keep repeating to myself "You cannot cry, you cannot cry..." my eyes hurt terribly, but I refused to let tears come out from there. After I hung up my coat, hubby's eyes stared fixed at my bulging tummy. I smiled, walked over to the coffee table and pulled the paper towards me. Without even looking at what it says, I signed my name on it and pushed the paper to him. "LD, are you pregnant?" Since

mother's accident, this is the first time he spoke to me. I could not control my tears any further and they fell like raindrops. I said: "Yes, but its ok, you can leave now." He did not go, in the dark, we sat, facing each other. Hubby slowly moved over me, his tears wet the blanket. In my heart, everything seems so far away, so far that even if I sprint, I could never reach them. I cannot remember how many times he repeated "sorry" to me. I had originally thought that I would forgive him, but now I can't. In the western restaurant, in front of that girl, that cold look in his eyes, I will never forget, ever. We have drawn such deep scars in each other's heart. For me, it's unintentional; for

him, totally intentional. I had been waiting for this moment of

reconciliation, but I realized now, what had gone past is gone forever and could not repeated.

Other than the thought of the baby inside me that would bring some warmth to my heart, I am totally cold towards him, I no longer eat anything he buys for me, I don't take any presents from him and I stopped talking to him. >From the moment I signed on that piece of paper, marriage and love had vanished from my heart. Sometimes, hubby will try to come into the bedroom, but when he walks in, I will walk out to the living room. He had no choice but to sleep in mother's room. At night, from his room, I can hear light sounds of groaning, I kept quiet. This used to be his trick; last time, whenever I ignore him, he would fake illness and I will surrender and find out what is wrong with him, he would then grab me and laugh. He has forgotten that last time I cared for him and am concerned because there was love, but now, what is there between us? Hubby's groaning came on and off continuing but I continuously ignored him.

Almost everyday, he would buy something for the baby, infant products, children products and books that kids like to read. Bags and bags of it stacked inside his room till it is full. I know he is trying to use this to reach out to me, but I am no longer moved by his actions. He has no choice but to lock himself in his room and I can hear his typing away on his computer keyboard, maybe he is now addicted to web surfing but none

of that matters to me anymore. It was sometime towards the end of spring in the following year, one late night, I screamed because of a sudden stomach pain, hubby came rushing into the room, its like he did not change and sleep, and had been waiting for this moment. He carried me and ran down the stairs, stopped a car, holding my hand very tightly and kept wiping the sweat off my brow, throughout the journey to the hospital. Once we reached the hospital, he carried me and hurried into the delivery suite. Lying on the back of his skinny but warmth body, a thought crossed my mind: In my lifetime, who else would

love me as much as he did?

He held the delivery suite door opened and watch me go in; his warm eyes caused me to manage a smile at him despite my contraction pain. Coming out of the delivery room, hubby looked at our son and me, eyes tear with joy and he kept smiling. I reached out and touched his hand. Hubby looked at me, smiling and then he slowly collapsed onto the floor. I

cried out for him in pain... He smiled, but without opening that tired eyes of his... I had thought that I would never shed any tear for him, but the truth is, I have never felt a deeper pain cutting through my body at that moment. Doctor said that by the time hubby discovered he had liver cancer, it was already in terminal stage and it was a miracle that he managed to last this long. I asked the doctor when he first discovered he had cancer. Doctor said about 5 months ago and consoled me

saying: "Prepare for his funeral."

I disregarded the nurse's objection and rushed home, I went into his room and checked his computer, and a suffocating pain hitsme. Hubby's cancer was discovered 5 months ago, his groaning was real, and I had thought that... the computer showed over 200 thousand words he wrote for our son:

"Son, just for you, I have persisted, to be able to take a look at you before I fall, is my biggest wish now... I know that in your life, you will have many happiness and maybe some setbacks, if only I can accompany you throughout that journey, how nice would it be. But daddy now no longer has that chance. Daddy has written inside here all the possible difficulties and problems you may encounter during your lifetime, when you meet with these problems, you can refer to daddy's suggestion....

Son, after writing these 200 thousand words, I feel as if I have

accompanied you through life journey. To be honest, daddy is very happy. Do love your mother, she has suffered, she is the one who loves you most and also the one who loves me most..." From play school to primar y school, to secondary, university, to work and even in dealing with questions of love, everything big and small was written there.

Hubby has also written a letter for me:

"My dear, to marry you is my biggest happiness, forgive me for the pain I have caused you, forgive me for not telling you my illness, because I want to see you be in a joyful mood waiting for the arrival of our baby...My dear, if you cried, it means that you have forgiven me and I would smile, thank you for loving me.....These presents, I'm afraid I cannot give them to our son personally, could you help me to give some of them to him every year, the dates on what to give when are all written on the packaging... "

Going back to the hospital, hubby is still in coma. I brought our son over and place him beside him. I said: "Open your eyes and smile, I want our son to remember being in the warmth of your arms..." He struggled to open his eyes and managed a weak smile. Our son still in his arms was happily waving his tiny hands in the air. I press the button on the camera and the sound of the shutter rang through the air as tears slowly rolled down my face.... A fatal misunderstanding and the person who loves me the most in this world is gone forever..."Cruel misunderstandings one after another disrupted the blissful footsteps to our family. Our originals intend of having Mother enjoy some quiet and peaceful moments in her remaining years with us went terribly wrong as destiny's secret is finally revealed at a price, every thing became too late."........

This is a true story.

LEARNING POINT - DO NOT EVER HOLD ON TO OFFENCES!!!

I am totally speechless, this story brought tears to my eyes as I read through each line eager to know what would happen next. It truly showed the devastating power of grudges and anger! Simple humility and communication would have resolved most of the problems in that story, as well as patience... This story has really touched my heart and life as a whole and it has stimulated a paradigm shift. Though it is very sad, it is also very refreshing to know that from today, I can consciously start to live a life free of grudge.

People please let’s live a life devoid of grudge. Communication is key.



Take greatest care and live on - God be with you all.



Wish you all a blessed weekend!

When is it time to go to marriage counseling? The first year of marriage was wonderful, but three years later it has started to become a little rocky. When a couple first ties the knot, they are blinded by each other's relatively new love for each other. Now, as some of the initial infatuation has worn off, there are a few more disagreements and a lack of communication for the couple. Before a couple actually gets married, it is recommended by many people that going to see a marriage counselor might be the best thing to do. The counselor can take an impartial view of their relationship and discuss with the couple some things they can do to ensure a long and happy marriage.

First, let's look at the myth of marriage counseling. Plain and simple, most people will make the mistake of saying that marriage counseling is for those married couples who already have problems in their marriage. While this is true, it is not entirely true. Marriage counseling is for those who are suffering difficulties in their married lives, but it is also for those who have a healthy married life and want to ensure it continues to be a healthy marriage, or for those who are contemplating marriage; who want to ensure they are making the right decision and will have a healthy marriage.

When thinking about marriage, the most common things people think of are a happy wife and husband, a couple of happy kids, a house, the two cars and a fairly good, easy life. In reality, marriage takes hard work. It also takes good communication between the individuals involved and the ability to accept when you are wrong. A marriage takes two to act as one in order to exist properly. If you have an unbalanced relationship that does not have an equality of both the husband and wife, you will have a marriage destined to become unhealthy and possibly fall apart. The reality of life also has a habit of throwing a wrench in the works too. It could be the husband gets laid off from his job, which can lead to monetary problems, or the husband is feeling neglected because the wife is spending too much time out with her friends. It could even be that the wife works during the day and the husband is working night shifts, so they barely see each other or have a chance to talk. These are just a few of the many situations that can cause a great deal of stress on a marriage. Talking to a marriage counselor before the problems get too big is always the best thing to do. If the couple is feeling the marriage is not working, or is starting to fall apart in any way, it might be time to seek out a marriage counselor.

Online counseling is a quick and easy way to get help fast. Through online therapy, an online counselor can help the couple work through any disagreements the couple may have, teach them how to communicate their feelings properly and can help a couple work through the stresses they might be feeling from everyday life. An online therapist can also help the couple think about making some possible changes in their life that might make their life less stressful and busy. Sometimes, it just helps to have a marriage counselor remind a married couple that a marriage is all about being together to support and help each other through life, regardless of what happens.

Article Source:
http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Dr._Jennifer_Baxt,_DMFT

PEOPLE AND SİGNS

Signs affect people' character and life very much; because people' birthday shows their signs. However, a lot of people refuse signs. Moreover, some of them believe that signs are silly and don't affect people' life and character.

I never agree this; because there are a lot of my evidence about this; forexample, I'm taurus and I have got taurus's all features; for instance, I'm a very beautiful girl! I also like eating. İn addition, I like music, dancing, nature, flowers and going for a walk very much. Furthermore, beauty and airs are indispensable for me!

On the other hand, my ascendant sign is akvaryus. So I have got a emotional, romantic, sensitive character; but I sometimes get angry somethings. Moreover, I'm intellegent, jealous and stubborn very much.

As a result, I believe that this is not coincidence. Even, many people deny this, signs are realities of our lives and we always see its a lot of examples in our lives.

One day a young man was standing in the middle
of the town proclaiming that he had the most
beautiful heart in the whole valley. A large
crowd gathered and they all admired his heart
for it was perfect.
There was not a mark or a flaw in it.
Yes, they all agreed it truly was the most
beautiful heart they had ever seen.
The young man was very proud and boasted
more loudly about his beautiful heart.

Suddenly, an old man appeared at the front of
the crowd and said, "Why your heart is not
nearly as beautiful as mine."

The crowd and the young man looked at the
old man's heart. It was beating strongly,
but full of scars, it had places where pieces
had been removed and other pieces put in, but
they didn't fit quite right and there were
several jagged edges. In fact, in some places
there were deep gouges where whole pieces
were missing.



The people stared -- how can he say his heart
is more beautiful, they thought?
The young man looked at the old man's heart
and saw its state and laughed.

"You must be joking," he said.
"Compare your heart with mine, mine is perfect
and yours is a mess of scars and tears."

"Yes," said the old man, "Yours is perfect
looking but I would never trade with you.
You see, every scar represents a person to
whom I have given my love - I tear out a piece
of my heart and give it to them, and often
they give me a piece of their heart which fits
into the empty place in my heart, but because
the pieces aren't exact, I have some rough edges,
which I cherish, because they remind me of the
love we shared. "Sometimes I have given pieces of my heart
away, and the other person hasn't returned
a piece of his heart to me. These are the
empty gouges -- giving love is taking a chance.

Although these gouges are painful, they stay open,
reminding me of the love I have for these people too,
and I hope someday they may return and fill the
space I have waiting. So now do you see what true beauty is?"
The young man stood silently with tears running
down his cheeks. He walked up to the old man,
reached into his perfect young and beautiful heart,
and ripped a piece out. He offered it to the old
man with trembling hands



The old man took his offering, placed it in his heart
and then took a piece from his old scarred heart and
placed it in the wound in the young man's heart.
It fit, but not perfectly, as there were some jagged edges.
The young man looked at his heart, not perfect
anymore but more beautiful than ever,
since love from the old man's heart flowed into his.
They embraced and walked away side by side.


Author unknown...

Suddenly the night has grown colder
The God of love preparing to depart
Alexandra hoisted on his shoulder
They slip between the sentries of the heart

Upheld by the simplicities of pleasure
They gain the light, they formlessly entwine
And radiant beyond your widest measure
They fall among the voices and the wine

It's not a trick, your senses, all deceiving
A fitful dream, the morning will exhaust
Say goodbye to Alexandra leaving
Then say goodbye to Alexandra lost

Even though she sleeps upon your satin
Even though she wakes you with a kiss
Do not say the moment was imagined
Do not stoop to strategies like this

As someone long prepared for this to happen
Go firmly to the window, drink it in
Exquisite music, Alexandra laughing
Your first commitments tangible again

And you who had the honor of her evening
And by that honor had your own restored
Say goodbye to Alexandra leaving
Alexandra leaving with her Lord

Even though she sleeps upon your satin
Even though she wakes you with a kiss
Do not say the moment was imagined
Do not stoop to strategies like this

As someone long prepared for the occasion
In full command of every plan you wrecked
Do not choose a coward's explanation
That hides behind the cause and the effect

And you who were bewildered by a meaning
Whose code was broken, crucifix uncrossed
Say goodbye to Alexandra leaving
Then say goodbye to Alexandra lost

Say goodbye to Alexandra leaving
Then say goodbye to Alexandra lost

Songwriters: Cohen, Leonard; Robinson, Sharon

this book is based on the idea of understanding of women's gestures.

I first heard this poem in the movie, Four weddings & a funeral. At the funeral, one of the characters, Matthew recites the poem Funeral Blues by W. H. Auden, commemorating his relationship with the character who has passed away. It is one of the most touching poems I have heard.

Also it is LOVE, Actually.... :)


Funeral Blues

By W.H Auden

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He is Dead.
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last forever: I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now; put out every one,
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun,
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the woods;
For nothing now can ever come to any good.

| Chicago

Love letters revealing a secret romance between former US President John F Kennedy and a Swedish woman in the 1950s have been put on auction.

The bidding for the collection, which includes 11 letters and three telegrams written by Kennedy to his Swedish girl friend Gunilla von Post, starts at $25,000, Legendary Auctions in Lansing announced on its website on Monday.

The handwritten letters and telegrams were reportedly sent from Kennedy to the flaxen-haired von Post while he was a US senator.

“I thought I might get a boat and sail around the Mediterranean for two weeks — with you as crew. What do you think?,” read one of the letters dated June 28, 1954.

However, the auction house is hoping that bidders will be drawn more by the collection's historic significance than the promise of juicy details.

“They are remarkable,” said president of University Archives John Reznikoff. "(The letters) show the sensitive and human side, they show the fallibility of the person who was going to lead the western world, avert the Cuban missile crisis and stand at the Berlin Wall."

The long-distance romance was first made public by Von Post in her book released in 1997. Von Post, 78, revealed that she met Kennedy in August 1953, just a few weeks before he married Jacqueline Bouvier, Chicago Tribune reported.

Although von Post gave reference of the letters in her book, they have never been revealed in their entirety, according to Legendary Auctions President Doug Allen.

One of the letters, written in red ink, foreshadows the end of the relationship, which von Post said dissolved around 1956.

It reads: "I just got word today — that my wife and sister are coming here. It will all be complicated the way I feel now — my Swedish flicka... All love, Jack".

Did you know that I had a life outside of my geeky tech reviewing profession?

Well, now you do. This is Tomi, trying to lighten up a little bit in my journalistic skills and professionalism in order to help bring something interesting across. Now, I'm not just a geek. My life doesn't just consist of computers :) Though I love them very much, ever since last year I've begun to view them as my slave (yeah heh heh heh! I rule you computer), rather than my life. If you want to get straight to my lessons, they are at the bottom of this posting.


First, I'm so glad that so many of you are on this channel. It's incredible what Inclusive Planet has become, and that really brings tears to my eyes right now, because I'm overjoyed with emotion. Give me a minute...

Ok. Now on to topic.

I am a blind person. I was born with ROP, also known as Retinopathy of Prematurity. I am an 18 year old male, not looking for a girlfriend, sorry...
So you could say that an 18 year old might not have as much experience as a 26 year old or a 35 year old. I'm not going to go off topic here, but based on the way I view my world, I have had lots of experiences with long distance relationships.

Don't get me wrong. I myself have been naive several times. Often, the reason I decided to enter into a relationship wasn't because of sex or my own personal gain, but rather because I really wanted to take care of someone, to know that somehow in some way I'm impacting their life positively. I know that there are a lot of girls out there who are being abused by their boyfriends or who have had negative experiences both sexually and emotionally throughout their lives.
So ever since I first begun the dating experience at age 11, I have had that intention to lift someone out and to let them see their true selves with grace and gratitude. Am I succeeding with my current girlfriend? We'll see...

A little bit of a background on my relationships. Again, I'm posting this out in the open not because I feel like doing so, but rather because I want you, dear reader, to connect with me at a more understandable level rather than just "a random guy" out there who is deciding to write a channel post. And I will say, some of these relationships I'm not too proud of, but I view them with appreciation for teaching me what they did.

I first began dating at age 11. It was a girl in boarding school who went to my class and sat next to me. I suppose this was your typical relationship, at least the way it started. The way it wasn't typical, however, delt with how we viewed and treated each other.
It was clear that both of us were more mature. We didn't spend our days talking about random things or laughing or doing "experiments". She and I were in the same school, which was great, we could see each other and talk in classes.
We would go shopping together for salami, a common dinner meal in Hungary-Salami and bread with butter. No, not your average salami. :)
Me and this girl bonded very well. Our discussions went anywhere from the "if we were married" to talks of both of our personal lives.

One day I wanted to give her a christmas present and she refused it, so I got mad, and... Well, let's say that after that we ended up hitting each other with braille books often in class, causing chaos in the classroom with loud fights of "You stupid jerk!"

How easily can a relationship end?

My second relationship was what really started the "long distance" ball. It was with a girl who I met at sports camp, and she lived a while away, across my state. We went to see the Pirates of the Caribbean together, and when camp ended, parted our separate ways.
She was also blind.
My sister did not like her very much! In fact, she got on her nerves quite often when she'd call our home phone and disconnect her off the internet ( we still do have dial-up at our house).
So it ended up with a pretty bad breakup, with my sister doing the breakup by messaging her over AOL and telling her how much she sucks. Poor girl...

I sort of stopped with relationships until Freshman year of high school, when the previous summer I met two lovely girls at another camp. One of them I immediately got a crush on. She had such a fun personality and was not like other girls in the United States: Her desires wern't with sex but rather seemed graceful.
We went to homecoming together. She lived in another state, so her parents drove her up. I have to say, as one of my first dances, I absolutely hated it: Maybe because she was sighted or because I was inconfident, she would often go off to talk with other guys at our dance. When Chris, one of my sister's friends asked for her number, I knew there was something more to this than meets the eye, and I personally challenged the guy in question once I got home and she left. Clearly I was jealous - how dare he ask for the number of a girl who I have a crush on but am not dating!
The guy coward, being afraid that I might hit him with my cain (don't you love being blind? Insert very evil grin here).

Oh, as for the girl? She ended up telling me that she wasn't interested. A day after my birthday... Ah well.

My next female encounter took place over the internet. She was someone who marked me as hot on this one Facebook application called HotOrNot. This was someone I was involved with for very long, and the way we met was again quite odd. Her distance? 975 miles away, straight in the state of Florida.
I've learned a lot from our long distance relationship, actually. She was a girl who I think I impacted a lot. Her self esteem was very very low, with a focus on her weight. So I was able to try and raise this by being caring and kind.
We broke up the first time after about 5 months of dating. I took some videos of me in school because she was sighted and this was her first encounter with a blind person. Her reaction on the videos was quite a shock response, as she never saw a blind person rock back and forth (I still do that sometimes) or felt odd about the fact that my eyes "roll around" due to nistagnis. This worried me so much that I ended up breaking up with her. I felt that if she freaked out so much because of that video, what will happen in real life?

You must understand that my self esteem is very low and has been very low because of how I'm treated by my family, so this was/is a problem on my end, too. Our breakup resulted in my worries of "what if my eyes are too in?" or "what if I'm freaky looking?".

After we broke up, the same night, a girl from my school asked me out. She was a sighted girl from my history class. I was very depressed over my previous breakup (again, four hours before this girl asked me out) that I decided to accept her gentle words and go into another relationship straight away.

It actually ended up quite ok, and me and the local girl ended up going to winter formal that year (Sophomore). My experience with her was great, better than the one I had at homecoming.
Our breakup? It took place over my jealousy and her fear. I was jealous of Edward in Twilight, who could drive and had a disability. She was afraid that if she were to become ill, I would not be able to drive to see her. These clashed and it ended up with her telling me that she doesn't want a long distance relationship where I can't be there for her in need of support. Fair enough :). Oh, and of course, I've hated Twilight ever since. How dare could Edward drive while I can't!

That summer, I met a girl who held the same beliefs as I do, as far as astral projection and new-age ideas. I won't go into our paranormal experiences, but for once I was happy to know someone who actually comprehended all that I had to say. She lived a way away, maybe 20 miles, but not too bad.
My mom ended up driving me to a mall where we met. It was one of my worst experiences, with her yelling at me "I hope you stick your finger down her pants! " and "Maybe you'll feel her up good and have sex with her!" as we drove. What can I say :) I've never really had "support" from my family with relationships.
We decided to go out at the mall. N

At this point I should note that I didn't have my first kiss. No, not even at that mall when we asked each other out; That was more of a cuddle.

I went away on an 8 week trip a day later. It was the Teen Empowerment Academy, and I suppose I had fun there :)
She felt different. She didn't want to ruin my fun by us being long distance. We broke up during the 8 week program.
At the academy, one of the girls had a crush on me. She was blind, as everyone else there.
While we had three weeks to ourselves, my experiences with her were quite negative. Sure, we went to watch a movie together, during which I ended up getting my first kiss. But at the time I was not used to... Well, sex. The idea of sticking my hand down a girl's blouse, something she really wanted me to do and desired, wasn't in my best interest-so I started becoming intimadated when she somehow made my hands slide down to her stomach and back up. I know this may be funny to some of you, but as a blind person, I just didn't see a girl that way. I couldn't look at someone for their breasts only or the curves of their body.
When after a shower she called me with a whispery voice saying, "come play with me, I wanna play with you." I totally freaked out. Not only was I molested by my grandfather as a child and hated sex thus, but now I had a girl who wanted it?

We ended up breaking up a month later, with my friends reporting that she was cheating on me with another guy.

I think that's about enough relationship discussion. Let's go into my current girlfriend, who is only a few relationships away.

We met through a friend of myne who met her online. While you could consider this to be a relationship that was "stolen", I would object otherwise. Him and her had many fights and eventually ended breaking up because of them. On the other hand, me and her matched quite well, again when it came to beliefs, maturity, and mind set. In a way, we "balanced" each other from the start.

I'm not going to say it's easy. Long distance is quite difficult, and sadly some of the problems like my fears of my blindness freaking her out still exist. I can't get rid of them, because honestly I view myself on a pretty low level and am scared that because she's sighted I might not have the skills and might be "slow" when doing things. She is certainly different-I know that her love is based off my personality rather than how I look or what I do. And we match so well...
From all this, I am making a top 5 lessons in long distance relationships that I've learned. I hope it will help some of you. Remember, they can work. Me and my current girlfriend have been dating for 8 and a half months now and are going strong. Sure I have fears but I try to swallow them and move on :) We are also going to the same college next year.

5. Don't think it won't work. If you start your relationship with "it will not work out!", it really won't. Sorry... But that's how it is.
4. Understand that you will miss a lot of the physical actions, but they are not everything in your relationship. In fact, there are ways to substitute the physical actions. We use a lot of * comments, like *kisses you* or *holds you close* which really do bring a smile to both of your faces when done right and when you get the hang of doing "virtual" actions like that.
3. If you are scared about honesty, please, please let your girlfriend/boyfriend know. There are a lot of dishonest girls out there. When I asked that ex girlfriend if she was cheating (the one from the Academy), she told me no. There are people who can be dishonest without making much a trace. But you will know if they are. Try being very very romantic with them, and very very loving. If they refuse to act, or act "robotic" and quiet in the process, something could be up. Sure, there are good pretenders. If that's the case, don't resort to stalking her profiles or other things. That'll make both of you upset. If your friends were the one to tell you that your partner is cheating, ask them if they know the name of the person and bring it up in a phone conversation when not expected. This might appear to be a jerky move, but if done as a surprise, it will catch him/her off guard.
2. Don't worry about the distance or how you both will meet. Just go with time, because it will resolve everything. Never EVER worry over "but he/she's too far away!" or "What if my mom/parent won't let me see her?" because that won't do you any good.

And #1...
Don't Judge. Yourself and her. This is something I'm still trying to resolve. Don't judge yourself on how you act or your skills and certainly don't judge her on her looks or actions. Trust is important... In both ways. Trust in yourself and trust in your partner. I think that if you trust that he/she will not cheat or be dishonest, chances are that that'll be the case. In the same sense you must trust that you can do what you want to and have the confidence to do it-wether that be personal skills, knowing when to do the right moves, and more.

Whew. Wasn't that long? :) I do hope that it helped some of you though :)

I doubt that any of my ex girlfriends are reading this post, but if they are, I really do hope I didn't sound offensive, because in all truth I understand the actions they took and why they took it. Yes, even the Teen Empowerment relationship. And to my current girlfriend, if she's reading by any chance... Know that I love you and have learned a lot of lessons from our and my past relationships. I really do think we balance each other out and am not planning to commit some of the same mistakes I have done in the past.
What are relationships, anyway? Besides a great way to heal others by personal impact, they are a way to also further empower you and hopefully your partner with new experiences and life lessons. That's just my viewpoint, though.

-Tomi

I think I know what it means when someone says a girl is beautiful. Usually, they look at her skin [preferably, the more of it, the better?] to make this kind of observation. And sexiness, to me, lies in the way she uses that body of hers, how she moves, what she does, how she speaks, and so on.

But I still cannot understand why looks are so important to all people. A girl can be astonishingly beautiful, yet her personality may be as bad as hell!

And, what does phisical beauty mean to you if you are blind?

Even blind people seem to believe what you look like, is important! Why else, then did so many blind girls in the past invite me to feel their faces, to see what she looks like? Of course, I mostly declined the offer, as that part was not really what I had in mind, but now that I think back, I should have accepted such offers a little more often: I could have blamed gravity in case my hands slipped….

Now that I know that the World is round, and have known so many ladies, I can emphatically tell you; all ladies are beautiful!! Many of them may not attract you young guys, as they may not be as good-looking as you are looking out for, but, Boy, get to know her, and you will certainly find out what I mean.

Now, can any of you tell me why we humans discriminate against people we see as unattractive or old? Of course, you have never been discriminated against for your looks, [as you look so good] have you?

I say, all you lovers,
Allow me to throw another cat amongst the pigeons;

Do you guys with “disabilities” find that your specific “disability” has any influence, negative or positive on your relationships, especially with members of the opposite gender?

Do you feel, that, for example, a blind guy should stay away from blind girls? Should a blind girl only be interested in sighted guys? How important is the practical, compared to the importance of the emotional?

Do you think that, for example, a guy in a wheel chair would make a good match with a girl who is blind? [Or, maybe the other way around, of course.]

I have a feeling that someone with some kind of disability is often more sensitive when it comes to relationships, so, what are your feelings; is it easy to make new friends of the opposite sex, in spite of your problem? Or, does your “disability” actually help you to make mew friends?

Of course, communicating with a sighted person is made more difficult to a blind person, as sighted people use a lot of signs and facial expressions. Does this often lead to misunderstanding between you and sighted people?

Do you find that “normal” people are a bit scared to make friends with you, because they are unsure as to how to approach and handle you, so they would rather ignore you when they don’t know you?

Have you found that a girl is scared to get rid of you, as she doesn’t want to hurt your feelings? [In this case, I think we have all heard that one; “I don’t want to loose your friendship, and want us to stay friends.”]

If you are not with the one you love, love the one you are with.

I had always been a great admirer of friendship and have treated it the most wonderful endowment by god.
While it’s the most difficult job of the world to defined what friendship is, life becomes extremely easy and enjoyable by the presence of friends.
Specially, true friends are top on the cards and they are someone you can share all the happiness and sorrows, dance for them, cry for them, help them without expecting for any acknowledgement, call them whenever you feel it like, scold them for no reason to something extremely serious, spend hours with them, yet feel like scarcity of time, trust them even after living remotely, someone who’s tears hurts, someone who’s smile relishes, so on, so on, and so on.
As I said, it’s just not possible for anyone to define what those good/true friends are.
So, it’s always great to have such friends in your life, but what if the friend is of opposite sex?
Ok, it doesn’t matter much, but while the chemistry with you and the other person is cooking nicely, many a times the friendship starts converting to a feeling of love.
There isn’t any problem to have your best/true friend as a lover, but here, the problem is not why should you love him/her, it’s about how to assure yourself whether that’s the love, and most importantly, how to express the same to the person.
While you claim that you have a nice understanding with your friend, you find it almost impossible to figure out whether the other person too feels love for you or it’s just a pure friendship.
Expressing your love to someone is itself not a easy job, but if you need to express it to a best/true friend, it’s certainly one of the hardest things.
Milians of questions bumps in mind like
Is it the love really that I’m feeling?
Does the person too love me?
Should I express it to him/her?
What if the person doesn’t feel the same and refuse?
How would I bare if the expression of love will create complications in our nice friendship?

There may be lots of such questions which hovers around, and you find yourself in bewildered state of mind.
The biggest fear is about losing the current friendship in case of refusal from his/her side, and this is what I’d like to point in here.

I just would like to ask a simple and straight forward question,
How to express your love to a very good/best/true friend, considering the scenario I’ve given above?
How to make sure that there won’t be any problem in your current friendship even if the person refuses the proposal?

Or, what do you think, shouldn’t one express his/her feeling of love to that friend?

Would waite for your genuine anser.

Hi people! now, someone please help my case.
Sometime last year, I met this young pretty lady, about 23 years. I was carried away and fell in love with her, she was cool, intellegent and pretty smart...
I then decided to ask her out but she refused, she cited a number of reasons for her refusal to go out with me.
1. she desired to retain friendship between us and according to her, a relationship would complicate matters. am not sure if I understood that but obviously, she meant "stuff that." I hadn't expressly indicated that I was looking for friendship either, am I not also entitled to make a choice?
2. she informed me further that, I was unable to keep secrets and did not, according to her appear to be serious since I had asked her out openly and half my colleagues already knew. according to her, this was not the way to go. "hold on, at first, I believed that I had spoilt a golden opportunity for myself, but you know what, I appeared to be serious, whether or not people knew my intentions, they were bound to know in one way or another." another stupid excuse. How often does she keep secrets?
3. I have informed her further that she is beautiful. it is yet not declared to be an unlawful act to tell a pretty woman that she's beautiful. she responded however, that: "I couldn't have been in a position to know how she looked unless my friend informed me," but still, there's nothing wrong about that either, how else would I have known that anyway?
4. Finally, she alleged that, I did not ask her out because I loved her, but it is the influence from my friend that led me to this. Well it is not my nature to tolerate this ... Some years ago, I was tought that "What we do for love is extraordinary."

She therefore did not consider my invitation of such a high value. the friend I am referring to was known to both myself and this woman and he likes girls terribly. save to say of course that he has a huge number of girlfriends, he cannot remember all of them. he's not to blame. he's in his mid to late 40's and quite reach.
it had been a few months and he must have made a move on this woman, she agreed, they clicked and started going out. surely, I was not aware and I still persued my intentions and would call this woman when ever she invited me to do so.

One day, this woman came to my workplace pretending that she had paid me a visit when in fact, she was there for this friend of mine.
later that day, after she had left, my friend informed me of the recent developments and with all due respect, I believe my friend lived up to the standards of honesty and truth. It was then when I stopped calling this woman altogether and deleted her phone number from my contacts. I did not need it anymore...

It was always bound to happen, my friend "enjoyed" this woman and after her services, as usual, she was jilted.

here's my problems, a few weeks ago, this woman came around looking for me, she was very keen in telling me what had transpired and further told me that it was my friend who informed her that: "we had taken a bet on who would get her." she was happy to go with him... "stuff that nonsense!"
She appears to be after me now and she initially intended to give me her number again, wants to spend sometime with me and demands my company, another colleague informed me that she looks at me in a spirit of admiration and so forth.

I cannot fall for her again.
advise me mates, What is this woman worth in my life?

My boyfriend and I have been dating about 15 months. We are trying to make a long distance relationship work. We both know that we love each other but a situation developed last week and I am just going crazy. He has this friend, a girl, who he spends a lot of time with. One of his roommates told me that there might be something going on. My boyriend swears that there isn't, and some of my friends that are still there say that there is absolutely nothing going on.

I believe him, but yet their is still doubt in my mind. I really don't think that he is cheating on me, but when I talk to him, I don't feel like I am an important part of his life anymore. What can I do to either get over it, or find out what he is really feeling? He sometimes has problems expressing his feelings and maybe that is the problem. I don't know what to do. If you have any suggestions, they would be greatly appreciated. thank you.