The lighter side of disability

A research done in England found that a baby smiles 400 times a day, an adolescent 17 times and an adult doesn't smile at all! The more successful one keeps a very stiff face. Is roughness a sign of success? Is being stressed a sign of prosperity, growth or dignity?

You should smile more. Every day, every morning, look at the mirror and give a good smile to yourself. You know what happens when you smile? All the muscles in your face get relaxed. The nerves in your brain get relaxation, and you get the confidence, courage and energy to move on in life.

You know, your smile is so fragile! Just one telephone call is enough to take it away! Just see why your smiles go away? It may be because somebody said something stupid to you. And why did they say a stupid thing? Because they had some garbage they needed to throw out and you were there, ready to catch it! And once you have caught it, you hold on to it so passionately!

Don't let your smile be snatched away by anybody!

5 Shocks Braille Gave a Visually Impaired Audio Book Reader

At age three, before learning to read, I heard my parents talk about the family who lived next to us in our cookie-cutter suburban development in Pennsylvania’s Lehigh Valley. I thought they were our “next store” neighbors. As I learned the alphabet and meanings of words, I asked my mother what the neighbor’s sold at their store. I learned that I had, of course, misheard.

That wasn’t the last time my ears let me down in the spelling department. Reading, however, is supposed to clue us in about those words that aren’t spelled the way our ears think they should be.

A Visually Impaired Student Struggling Through Without Braille

As a child of the ’50s with Retinitis Pigmentosa (RP), a degenerative eye disease, I was expected to rely on my failing vision, even though I was born legally blind. I bluffed my way through school, reading so slowly that I had blistering headaches and time for little else. Needless to say, I eventually became a bit picky about what I read. Literature and science were in; math and history were out. Braille was never discussed.

In college, my vision deteriorated beyond the point of faking it. The answer was recorded books, which I still love. Nonetheless, my lack of fluency in Braille resulted in a lifetime of functional illiteracy.

I’ve tried to make up the deficit. A friend taught me the Braille alphabet after I graduated from college and I began to use it to enable myself to live independently. Spices, records and cassettes, my own writings, recipes, contact info and to-do lists all started showing up in that beautiful code of six raised dots.

Despite this and borrowing Braille knitting books from the National Library Service for the Blind and Physically Handicapped:
http://www.loc.gov/nls/

reading remained a largely aural experience. In the close to four decades that it has taken me to progress to reading age-appropriate material in Braille, my ability to spell, and therefore write, has suffered.


Braille: the Struggle for Literacy Continues

Before allowing you to view my mistakes, I want you to know that it didn’t have to be this way. Braille, when taught correctly, can be easily and happily learned. The only reason I share this now is because, contrary to public assumptions, things are worse now than in the ‘ 50s. Then, over fifty percent of America’s blind kids were taught Braille. Today, it’s ten percent.

Most blind people are audio book not Braille readers, and most working-age blind Americans (seventy percent) are unemployed. Of those few who work, however, over 80% read Braille. These blind people, who are truly literate by the same definition used for print readers, are machinists, lawyers, chemists, mechanics, engineers, chefs and are successful in many other fields.

Why the discrepancy? There is a shortage of qualified Braille teachers and more importantly a surplus of misunderstanding about both Braille and blindness. For more information visit the National Organization of Parents of Blind Children (NOPBC):
http://www.nfb.org/nfb/Parents_and_Teachers.asp


Braille Reveals Spelling Errors

Now, for those mistakes. I regularly read “Syndicated Columnists Weekly” from the National Braille Press.
http://www.nbp.org/

As I learn what the nation’s top writers are saying about issues facing the country, I routinely stop, dumbstruck by a word that is spelled so differently than I expected that I often marvel over it for days. Once I “see” it in Braille, I don’t forget.

1. I routinely confuse “n” and “m.” The “n” in “rendition,” for instance, was a total shock! I thought it was “rem”dition – well, maybe that’s the dream version. On the other hand, I thought “Mesopotamia” had an “n.” Why didn’t I make the hippopotamus connection? Mesopotamia is the land between the rivers; hippopotamus is river horse.

2. Sometimes, I get even the number of words in a common expression wrong. I now know, for example, that it’s “fait accompli” not “fate a compli.”

3. My concept of “camaraderie” – “comradery,” which is at least listed in four of the top 7 dictionaries according to Roots Web — was based on the word “comrade” – probably a hazard of growing up during the Cold War. But still, what’s with the “ie” at the end? It makes it look like a nickname. Hmmm, that is friendly, though.

4. I thought I had a “pention” for music; now, I find out not only that it’s “penchant,” but that the word I had been misusing is “pension.”

5. Despite a year of ballet, I never was much of a dancer and wasn’t familiar with “choreography.” The “h” was a surprise, but with “choral” and “chorus,” I suppose I should have seen that one coming.

dad to son- u have to marry that girl of my choice
son to dad- no way
dad to son- but she's the daughter of bill gates
son to dad- then ok i will marry her
dad goes to bill gates
dad to bill gates- u should marry yr daughter to my son
bill gates to dad-no way
dad to bill gates- but my son is the c e o of world bank
bill gates to dad-oh if so,ok i will get my daughter married to yr son
dad goes to world bank
dad - u should appoint my son as c e o
president of world bank- no
dad- but he is the son-in-law of bill gates
president of world bank-if so,ok

SO?WONDERING?
YES!THIS IS REALL BUSINESS

Did I read that sign right?
TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW
In a Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT
GOES OUT
In a London department store:
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS
In an office:
WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR
FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN
In an office:
AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE
DRAINING BOARD
Outside a secondhand shop:
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR
WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?
Notice in health food shop window:
CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS
Spotted in a safari park:
ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR
Seen during a conference:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE
1ST FLOOR
Notice in a farmer's field:
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.
Message on a leaflet:
IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS
On a repair shop door:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. DOESN'T WORK>

1. A small boy opens the door and looks at his sister's boy friend and asks innocently
"Every day you come to meet my sister , don't you have your own sister"
2. Santa went for an interview
Bank manager: what is cyclone ?
Santa: It is a smallest loan given by bank to buy a cycle.
3. Innocent kid handling his breakup ...
Main tumhe bhulne ki bahut koshish karta hun,
par kya karun mummmy roj BAADAAM khila deti hai.
Aur muje tumhaari YAAD fir see aa jaati hai
4. Pintu was having habbit of eating nails of his hand,
His parents sent him to Ramdev Baba for treatment.. . . .
Now Pintu can also eat nails of his legs..
5. Teeth said 2 Tongue " If I just press u little hard, you will get cut.
Tongue replied: "If I misuse 1 word against some 1, then all the 32 of u will come out at once
8. Dada(Grand Father): Beta ja paani le aa.
Pota(Grand Son): Mai nai laa sakta, mai game khel raha hun
2nd Pota (Second grand son): Rahne do dada ji,
ye to hai he BADATMEEZ... . ... .. ... .. .. Ap khud he ja k le aao.
9. World's shortest poem..
Baba black sheep have u any wool? .. .. ... .. .
sheep: NO, get lost.
10. Jinn : Kya huqum hai mere Aaka ?
Aaka: Mere account me jaldi se 10 crore rs aur
katrina se shaadi 10 sec me karwa do.
Jinn: Aaaka, huqum karo...bakwaas mat karo !!!
11. Police: Oye, carparking ki jagah bike kyu park ki hai ?
Santa: just smiled and said "sirf do pahiyon ka farak hai UNCLE, aa jayenge
12. Ek dukhi aadmi bola: Aisi zindagi se toh maut achhy.
Achanak yamdoot aya aur bola : Tumhaari jaan lene ka huqum hai.
Aadmi: lo kar lo baaat, ab insaan majaak b nai kar sakta.
13. A poor man of U.P catches a fish but
can't cook due to No gas No electricity No Oil
Man puts fish back in to river.
Fish comes up and shout
"Mayaavati zindabaad"
14. Santa london k ek hotel me murgi khaane gaya
lekin murgi ka english word bhool gaya
Waiter: What would you like to have sir ?
Santa: 1 plate Egg's mother
15. Pathan Ladki se: I Love you !
Ladki:Tameez se baaat karo
Pathan: Bismilllah Hir rehman Nir Reheeem,
with due respect I beg to say that "I Love you".
16. Taj Mahal ko dekh kar bola shahjahan ka pota..
Taj Mahal ko dekh kar bola shahjahan ka pota..
Aj apna bhi bank balance hota agar dada aashiq na hota.
17. Galib ne GF ko date par bulaaya aur wo late ayi.
GF: sorry, I am late.
Galib: Falak pe chand sitaaron ko neend aa rahy hai,
dossri ka time ho gaya aur tu ab aa rahy hai.
18. Ek bachha door bell bajaane ki koshish kar raha tha.
Ek old man ne dekha aur bell baja di.
Aur bachhe se bola: Aur kuch beta?
Bachha: Ab bhaago.
19. Santa: Doctor ye maala kis ke liye hai ?
Doctor: Ye meri life ka first operation hai.
Safal ho gaya toh mere liye,
nai toh tumhaare liye.

This is India

1. MOTHER-IN-LAW:
IN INDIA - A WOMAN CAPABLE OF MAKING YOUR LIFE MISERABLE.

OUTSIDE INDIA - A WOMAN YOU NEVER FIGHT WITH, BECAUSE WHERE ELSE YOU WILL FIND SUCH A DEDICATED BABY SITTER FOR FREE? (Everybody loves Raymond??)

2. HUSBAND:
IN INDIA - A BORING HUMAN SPECIES, WHO LISTENS MORE TO HIS MOTHER THAN YOU, AND ORDERS YOU AROUND TO SERVE HIM, HIS PARENTS AND SIBLINGS.

OUTSIDE INDIA - STILL BORING, BUT NOW A USEFUL HUMAN SPECIES THAT COMES IN HANDY WHEN THE HOUSE NEEDS TO B VACUUMED. (or any other random chores needs to be one)

3. FRIEND:
IN INDIA - A PERSON WHOSE HOUSE YOU CAN DROP INTO ANY TIME OF THE DAY OR NIGHT AND YOU'LL ALWAYS BE WELCOME.

OUTSIDE INDIA - A PERSON WHOM YOU HAVE TO CALL FIRST TO CHECK AND MAKE SURE HE/SHE IS NOT BUSY.

4. WIFE:
IN INDIA - A WOMAN WHO GIVES YOU YOUR UNDERWEAR AND TOWEL WHEN YOU GO TO TAKE A SHOWER.

OUTSIDE INDIA - A WOMAN WHO YELLS AT YOU NOT TO LEAVE TUB DIRTY WHEN YOU GO TO TAKE BATH .(If only men listen and learned the first time round)

5. SON:
IN INDIA - A TEENAGER, WHO WITHOUT ASKING WILL CARRY YOUR GROCERY BAGS FROM THE MARKET.

OUTSIDE INDIA - A TEENAGER, WHO SUDDENLY REMEMBERS HE HAS LOT OF HOMEWORK WHEN YOU START MOWING THE LAWN.

6. DAUGHTER:
IN INDIA - A LOVELY DOLL, WHO BRINGS TEARS TO YOUR EYES DURING HER MARRIAGE.

OUTSIDE INDIA - A LOVELY DOLL, WHO BRINGS YOU TO TEARS LONG BEFORE HER MARRIAGE.

7. FATHER:
IN INDIA - A PERSON YOU ARE AFRAID OF, AND WHO IS NEVER TO BE DISOBEYED.

OUTSIDE INDIA - A PERSON TO WHOM YOU PRETEND TO OBEY, AFTER ALL HE IS THE ONE PAYING YOUR COLLEGE TUITION.

8. INDIAN ENGINEER:
IN INDIA - A PERSON WITH A RESPECTABLE JOB AND EARNING LOTS.

OUTSIDE INDIA - A PERSON WITHOUT A SECURE JOB, WHO ALWAYS DREAMS ONE DAY HE WILL BE RICH.

9. DOCTOR:
IN INDIA - A RESPECTABLE PERSON WITH OK INCOME.

OUTSIDE INDIA - A MONEY MAKING MACHINE, WHO HAS A MONEY SPENDING MACHINE AT HOME CALLED "DOCTOR'S WIFE".

10. BHANGRA:
IN INDIA - A VIGOROUS PUNJABI FESTIVAL DANCE.

OUTSIDE INDIA - A DANCE YOU DO, WHEN YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO DANCE.

11. SOFTWARE ENGINEER:
IN INDIA - A HIGH-TECH GUY, ALWAYS SPEAKS IN AMERICAN ACCENT, ALWAYS ANXIOUS TO QUEUE IN THE CONSULATE VISA LINE.

OUTSIDE INDIA - THE SAME HI-TECH GUY, WHO DOES GANAPATI PUJA EVERYDAY, AND SAYS 'THIS IS MY LAST YEAR IN THE US (OR WHEREVER) 'EVERY YEAR.

12. A GREEN CARD HOLDER BACHELOR:
IN INDIA - THE GUY CAN'T SPEAK HINDI, PARENTS OF GOOD LOOKING GIRLS ARE DYING TO HOOK HIM, WEARS JACKET IN SUMMER, SAYS HE HAS A BMW BACK THERE

.OUTSIDE INDIA - THE GUY CAN'T SPEAK PROPER ENGLISH, WEARS JACKET ALL THE TIME, WORKS IN A CANDY STORE AT MANHATTAN , DREAMS OF OWNING A BMW.

A polish man is sitting at a bar having a few drinks when he notices a very attractive lady sit down at the other end of the bar and order a drink.
The polish guy calls the bartender over and says "whatever she is drinking give her another one and tell her it is on me."
The bartender replies "I don't think you want to do that."
"What do you mean?" yells the polish guy, "Send her the drink!"
"O.K." the bartender replies, "but I don't think it is a good idea."
"And why not?" asks the polish guy.
The bartender leans over the bar and very softly says "because she's a lesbian."
"I don't care, send her the drink." says the polish guy.
So after the lady gets her drink the polish guy very casually strolls down to the other end of the bar and sits down next to her and says, "so what part
of Lesbia are you from?"

CHENNAI, August 23, 2010

Special Correspondent

Even as it rained on Sunday, the city celebrated its birthday through a host of interesting events that saw the residents turning up enthusiastically.

As many as 1,000 persons visited Bhavan's Rajaji Vidyashram where an exhibition of coins, stamps and books used in Madras were on display. According to D. H. Rao of Madras Heritage Lovers Forum, one participant had displayed very old Tamil magazines that were popular in the city. “Another participant displayed really old advertisements – of the fifties. Visitors found it very interesting,” he said.

At Studio Palazzo, it was about making the city greener. Pauline Deborah's talk on ‘Trees of Madras' looked at the variety in trees in the city, the kind of plants that would grow well along medians and ways of protecting trees. Organisers of various events observed that despite the rain, the response to most events was very heartening. Members of The Madras Association of the Deaf gathered at the Marina beach in the morning to celebrate ‘Madras Day'. Members wore caps and eagerly came for their city's birthday. ‘Madras week' celebrations on Sunday also included talks on various topics about the city's past, commercial hubs and temples.

Source:
www.thehindu.com

A lawyer read the will of a rich man to the deceased's family.

"To my loving wife, Rose, who stood by me in rough times, as well as good, I leave the house and $2 million."

The lawyer continued, "To my daughter, Jessica, who looked after me in sickness and kept the business going, I leave the yacht, the business and $1million."

The lawyer concluded, "And to my cousin, Dan, who hated me, argued with me and thought I would never mention him in my will. Well, you are wrong. Hi, Dan!"

In some remote village of India, one Masterji is teaching the Mahabharat katha to class 6 students.
He is at the 'Krishna-Janma' part of it.
Masterji: "Kansa heard the akashwani that his sister's 8th child is going to kill him.
He was furious. He ordered to put vasudev n devki behind the bars..
First son is born, and kansa kills him by poisoning....
Second one is born n kansa throws him off the mountain peak.
Third one is born..."
Now Ramu, who is smartest of the lot, puts up his hand. Masterji, I have a
doubt (sounding nervous n confused)
Masterji: "Ramu bete, whole India does not have doubt in Mahabharata then
how come u have one?"
Ramu : Masterji, if Kansa knew that Devaki's 8th child was going to Kill
him,
WHY THE HELL DID HE PUT VASUDEV AND DEVAKI IN THE SAME CELL ?
Masterji faints...... ......... .......

Two elderly couples were enjoying friendly conversation when one of the men asked the other, "Fred, how was the memory clinic you went to last month?"

"Outstanding," Fred replied.

"They taught us all the latest psychological techniques: visualization, association, etc.

It was great."

"That's great! And what was the name of the clinic?"

Fred went blank. He thought and thought, but couldn't remember.

Then a smile broke across his face and he asked, "What do you call that flower with the long stem and thorns?"

"You mean a rose?"

"Yes, that's it!" He turned to his wife, "Rose, what was the name of that memory clinic?"

 Awesome Love letter By a Programmer…  but d best part is signature
 
 
Sweetheart ,
 
I`ve seen you yesterday while surfing on the local train platform and realized that you are the only site I was browsing for. For a long time I`ve been
lonely; this has been the bug in my life and you can be a real debugger for me now.
 
My life is an uncompiled program without you, which never produces an executable code and hence is useless.
 
You are not only beautiful by face but all your ActiveX controls are attractive as well.
 
Your smile is so delightful; it encourages me and gives me power equal to thousands of mainframes processing power.
 
When you looked at me last evening, I felt like all my program modules are running smoothly and giving expected results. /*which I never experienced before.*/

 
With this letter, I just want to convey to you that if we are linked together, I¡¯ll provide you all objects & libraries necessary for a human being to
live an error free life.
 
Also don`t bother about the firewall which may be created by our parents as I¡¯ve strong hacking capabilities by which I`ll ultimately break their security
passwords and make them agree for our marriage .
 
I anticipate that nobody has already logged in to your database so that my connect script will fail.
And its all but certain that if
this happened to me, my system will crash beyond recovery.
 
Kindly interpret this letter properly and grant me all privileges of your inbox. Error free...
 
 
 
Regards,
Jay
Software Programmer
Today This company
Tomorrow That Company
But always want Ur company!

Writing from Amy's Wood Loft ...

Many people dream of seeing the world. Ask vision-challenged globetrotter Amy Bovaird, and she will settle for seeing it in a little sharper focus. Follow Amy--but not too closely--on adventures foreign and domestic as she recounts tales of trips and travel.
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Beams and Blindness

It took me awhile to get used to get over my pre-conceived ideas about blindness, and to begin to associate it with myself. I freely used words like "tolerance" and "understanding" and "adaptability" with nonnative speakers, language, culture, and cuisine. But when it came to accepting my own vision limitations, I was having none of it. This is the start of my journey in changing my attitude about my very own Retinitis Pigmentosa.

~ ~ ~ ~


DEVOTIONAL
"Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?" Matt 7:3
“I had a lot to learn about judging others and accepting myself.


“Perhaps the best solution is to simply tell people that you are blind.”

“I’m not blind. I have a vision problem” I replied immediately.

Have you ever been around someone you don’t know well but who rubs you wrong, or downright irritates you?

For me, that was Bob*(not his real name).I tried to be polite but from the start everything about him bothered me. First, he had the audacity to show up without telling me in advance that he was blind! So that was a shock. Fuming, I guided Bob through my parent’s house until we arrived at my apartment. There, he sat on my sofa and after a short time, and with his words, jabbed me in the ribs with those words.

I glared at him—not that he would notice.

Bob was the Mobility Instructor assigned to my case by the Bureau of Blindness and Visual Services (BBVS) I had recently contacted.

“Blindness is a continuum,” he said. Not every blind person has lost all his vision. Some people still have some vision but are legally blind. That means they have to be at 20 feet to see what others can see at 200 feet. Or perhaps they have less than 10% of vision remaining. Sometimes blind people can only see light, but not shapes. What can you see?”

“I don't know. My problem (notice that I did not say ‘my blindness’?) is more of what I don’t see. I don’t see edges, or corners or even the dog all the time!” I joked. The truth was I ran into tables and open cupboards, missed steps. Poor Buddy learned to get out of the way or that I would fall over him.

“Are you legally blind?”

I recall being told something like that more than twenty years earlier but I stubbornly refused to admit it.

“I’m … not sure.”

“From what you tell me I think you can benefit from using a cane. Have you ever thought of that?”

“You mean a blind man’s cane? No, no! I don’t think I really need that!” I’m just clumsy,” I muttered.

Bobwas not to be deterred. “Would you be willing to try it out for a session? Perhaps around your neighborhood?”

I nervously covered my eyes, not even realizing the irony of that action.

“How long is a session?”

“Ohhh, an hour or so I believe would be enough.”

“Ack!” I muttered even more quietly under my breath. “Sure, why not?” is what I said aloud to him.

Bob then proceeded to take out a variety of canes for me to try out. We walked around the house and even went to the basement where we found my mother washing clothes. Bob jovially introduced himself. I held onto my cane. Embarrassing to have that stick in my hand! I don’t know why. My mom didn't even appear to notice.

As far as I was concerned Bob could leave and good riddance to him!

As soon as he left, I picked up my cell phone and punched in numbers. “Jim! He didn’t even tell me that he was blind before he came. Can you believe I cleaned up my entire apartment?!”

“Was this your annual spring cleaning?” As usual, my best friend who lived in California took a comical tack.

"Jim, can you please stay with me here!"

"Who is ‘he’ anyway and was he 100% blind?”

“Hmph! I’m talking about Bob, my new mobility instructor. Remember I told you he was coming over tonight to meet me? He never even let on that he was blind! And yes, he is 100% blind. I was shocked!"

"Why does he need to tell you that? Do people have to say whatever is significant about them?"

As usual, Jim had a point. So I pounced on a different complaint.
"Why is it that blind people project their blindness onto others?” I huffed.

“As if you are an expert on blind people now. Isn’t he the first blind person that you ever met?” James laughed. “You are in denial, big time!”

“Oh, shut up!”

It was easy to fool myself before I called the BBVS. People who lose their vision gradually can get by for a long time without coming unglued. We just keep adapting. Suddenly a big chunk of vision disappears. This dislodges the fictitious comfort we’ve built up around ourselves. That’s what happened to me. Bob's visit bugged me and I refused to call him.

But Bob did not give up. He called me. “Amy, this is Bob, your mobility instructor. It’s been awhile since we talked.”

“Mmm. Sorry, uh—so busy with my job lately.”

“I know how that is. But your cane has come in now. Shall we take that trip in your neighborhood soon and you can try it out?”

“Ahhhh—-” I couldn’t think fast enough, “Well—” Why not?

We set up the time and date for one week later in October for us to traverse my neighborhood.

The big day arrived.

“Oh, you’re early!”

“Take your time. I’ll have a smoke.” Bob planted himself outside his driver’s window and extracted a pipe. He then filled it with an aromatic tobacco and puffed on it as he talked to his driver and waited for me to gather my wits about me.

“Okay, I’m ready.” I wasn’t but the sooner we got started, the sooner we could finish.

“Let me introduce you to your new cane,” Bob joked. He then reminded me how I should hold it and instructed me to lead the way, “just get a feel for it now.”

We took to the sidewalk with me in the lead. The sun caressed our shoulders as we explored the area. My cane seemed to me just like a pool cue and I regretted not having life-sized pockets low on the ground in which to shoot a series of colored or striped balls. The thought made me smile.

“Try it with your eyes closed,” Bob called.

Just then I jabbed myself hard in the stomach with the cane, and yelped. “Ack!”

The life-sized billiards game turned into a dagger or fencing sport. “Ahhh! Where’s my shield?” I bemoaned the fact I was not a knight living back in Shakespearean times, and thus not properly armored.

“Speaking of yielding, let me show you how to cross the street.”

I smiled at the misunderstanding but took my cue to pay attention.

“When you hold your cane vertically, it indicates to drivers that you are stopped and do not intend to cross the street. That’s important. You then listen for sounds of traffic. If you hear nothing, then you proceed to cross.”

“Oookaay.” I could handle that, especially since I could see as well. “This cane stuff isn't so bad!”

I soon changed my tune. When I saw Rhet McCohn*(not his real name), my neighbor and the town mayor, I desperately longed to tap out of sight. “Oh no! I look like I’m cross-country skiing, except there isn’t any snow!” As Mr. McCohn watched us file past his house, I then closed my eyes for real. No time like the present to try my skills! He must be wondering what we’re doing, why I’m using this cane. I imagined myself stopping, holding my cane vertically as if I were going to cross the street. Except I would turn to face him. What would I do? Twirl my cane like a drum majorette’s baton? Use it as a teacher’s pointer and gesture dramatically? “As you can clearly see, I am now learning how to be blind!” Or would I use my cane as a musician’s baton and conduct a silent symphony and introduce Bob as the Master conductor? I did none of these things, of course. I kept on going and tried not to blush. Let Mr. McCohn think what he would!

I don’t know how Bob knew Mr. McCohn was there but he greeted him with, “Nice day to be out and about, wouldn’t you say?”

I noticed Mr. McCohn didn’t have anything at all to say.

We arrived back at the house, and I guided Bob up the stairs to my sofa again for our debriefing.

“You moved at a good clip,” he approved, “especially towards the end.” His voice took on a teasing tone. It’s as if he knew just how embarrassed I felt in front of the town mayor who lived kitty-corner to my home. “Did you close your eyes at all?”

“I did,” and wondered if Mr. McCohn did too.

Maybe Bob wasn’t quite as bad as I originally figured. After all, a blind teacher with a sense of humor might really have something of value to teach me. I held my cane vertically and thought, “Okay, I’m stopped. But ready to yield.”
Posted by Traveling Gal at 2:51 PM
Labels: attitude, blindness, early experience, humor, road, tolerance

Report Card:


Little Johnny's father said, "Let me see your report card."
Johnny replied, "I don't have it."
"Why not?" His father asked.
"My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."

Name Game:


Teachers never give up, and neither does Little Johnny. She asks him, "Can you name the Great Lakes?"
You know Johnny, he is always fast with an answer, and he pipes up with, "I don't need to. They've already been named."

Never Advice Little Johnny:


Little Johnny was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another. After the sixth one a man on the bench across from him said, "Son,
you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, make you fat."
Little Johnny replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old."
The man asked, "Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?"
Little Johnny answered, "No, he minded his own business!"

Johnny’s Mathematics:


Little Johnny returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.
"Why?" asks the father.
"The teacher asked 'How much is 2 x 3?' I said 6.
"But that's right!"
"Then she asked me 'How much is 3 x 2?'
"What the hell difference in that?" asks the father.
"That's what I said!"

Johnny’s Vacation:


Summer vacation was over and the teacher asked Little Johnny about his family trip. "We visited my grandmother in Minneapolis, Minnesota."


The teacher asked, "Good, can you tell the class how you spell that?"


Little Johnny said, "Actually, we went to Ohio."

Ashish Tripathi, TNN, Aug 10, 2010, 07.32am IST

The Times of India

LUCKNOW: A multi-disabled destitute boy, about six years old, found abandoned in Charbagh, has exposed government's apathy towards the most helpless. The plight of mentally and physically disabled boy can make the hard-hearted go weak, but officers are unmoved. Neither there is any special asylum for such destitute in UP, nor government departments -- disabled welfare, women & child welfare, social welfare -- are ready to keep the boy in their shelter homes.

This is not the only case. A mentally retarded teenaged boy under treatment at SPM Civil Hospital, who was discharged two days back, was left on the streets as no one was ready to provide shelter to him. Similar fate awaits a mentally retarded woman under treatment in RML Hospital. Admitted after she delivered a baby on roadside, the woman was apparently raped by some pervert. Over 35 mentally retarded destitute have been found abandoned in the city this year so far.

The boy was found in an unconscious state by government railway police (GRP) on June 7. He was admitted in Chhatrapati Shahuji Maharaj Medical University (CSMMU). After treatment, on doctor's request, the city magistrate on July 27 directed the police to admit the boy in Shishu Grih at Prag Narain Road, run by women and child welfare department. But Grih superintendent Manju Verma refused saying that home does not have any facility for multi-disabled children.

On August 5, the boy was sent to Allahabad, where disabled welfare department runs a school for mentally disabled children, but authorities refused to take the boy citing a government order which allowed admission of children above seven years of age and those having a guardian. The boy was brought back to the Shishu Grih on August 6. The women and child welfare department will now take up the issue with the principal secretary disabled welfare for a permanent solution.

Dr Yogesh Govil, who attended the boy at CSMMU, said that the boy is mentally retarded and suffers from `development delay'. He cannot sit or walk because he has not been trained properly at the early age. "Physical disability can be cured upto some extent through physiotherapy, love and affection," he added. Social activists slammed the state government for spending crores on constructing a university for disabled but doing nothing for the disabled destitute.

Subsequently, social welfare commissioner Prem Narain approved a proposal as per which government had to fund NGOs for running the shelter. But courtesy apathy of disabled welfare department, the project which was scheduled to be completed by July has not started as yet. Four homes (in Bareilly, Gorakhpur, Meerut and Allahabad) are also incomplete till date. The boy in question is at present in Shishu Grih at Prag Narain Road. government to make shelter homes for such destitute.

"We have kept him on humanitarian grounds," said director, women and child welfare, Bihari Swarup. Director disabled welfare S K Dwivedi said that he is working on a Rs 10 crore project to construct asylums for mentally retarded destitute at least in five major cities. The Central government has approved the project in principle but it will take 1-2 years to materialise, he said. Social welfare commissioner Prem Narain assured that he would look into the matter.

Source:
http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/city/lucknow/Attempts-to-find-shelter...

I know most of us are computer illiterate as far as computer jargons
or acronyms go. We are not alone. In fact, some computer nerds out
there have come
out with their own versions of computer acronyms. Here are just some samples….

WWW = World Wide Wait

ISDN = It Still Does Nothing

CD-ROM = Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months

SCSI = System Can't See It

DOS = Defunct Operating System

APPLE = Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity

MACINTOSH = Most Applications Crash; If Not, The OS Hangs

IBM = I Blame Microsoft

BASIC = Bill's Attempt to Seize Industry Control

VISTA = Very Inconsistent Service Tracking Application

Anyone else with other acronyms to add…?

Creativity...very amusing story

A blind boy sat on the steps of a building with a hat by his feet. He held up a sign which said: ' I am blind, please help.' There were only a few coins in the hat.

A man was walking by. He took a few coins from his pocket and dropped them into the hat. He then took the sign, turned it around, and wrote some words. He put the sign back so that everyone who walked by would see the new words.

Soon the hat began to fill up. A lot more people were giving money to the blind boy. That afternoon the man who had changed the sign came to see how things were. The boy recognized his footsteps and asked, 'Were you the one who changed my sign this morning? What did you write?'

The man said, 'I only wrote the truth. I said what you said but in a different way.'

What he had written was: 'Today is a beautiful day and I cannot see it. '

Do you think the first sign and the second sign were saying the same thing?

Of course both signs told people the boy was blind. But the first sign simply said the boy was blind. The second sign told people they were so lucky that they were not blind. Should we be surprised that the second sign was more effective?

Moral of the Story: Be thankful for what you have. Be creative. Be innovative. Think differently and positively.

The most beautiful thing is to see a person smiling…

And even more beautiful is!

Knowing that you are the reason behind it!!!

Shalini Umachandran TNN

Chennai: M Krishnaveni was ecstatic when she got a promotion last month. The disabled middle school teacher was promoted as a secondary grade teacher and posted to Senthurai Government Higher Secondary School in Sivaganga. But, to her horror, she found out there was no such village or school in Sivaganga.

“The counselling took place on July 12 in Chennai and I was given an order to join duty at Senthurai Government Higher Secondary School in Sivaganga district on August 2,” says Krishnaveni, who currently teaches classes six to eight at Government Higher Secondary School in Usilampatti in Madurai. “The next day, I went to Sivaganga and the chief education officer (CO) told me that there was no such village or school there.”
In Chennai, the school department told her they needed a written note from the Sivaganga CO saying his district had no such village or school before they could change her appointment order. “The CO refused to do so, and I am in a fix. Everyone else who went for counselling has joined duty on Monday,” she says.
Both Perambalur and Dindigul districts have places called Senthurai, and Krishnaveni still doesn’t know where she is supposed to report for duty. “I went to Dindigul district but the CO said my appointment order said Sivaganga district and refused to let me join,” she says.
Krishnaveni, who was disabled by polio when she was a child and uses crutches, went to work at the Usilampatti school as usual on Monday, and was told that she could continue there only till the end of the month. “The authorities said I would have to write a letter saying I want to forego my promotion if I want to continue at the Usilampatti school, or I have to leave,” she says. “I really don’t know what to do.”
Krishnaveni’s husband spent most of Monday at the office of the Director of School Education trying to resolve the problem. “They just told him to wait for a while,” she says.
For Krishnaveni, the promotion means a raise of Rs 1,000 and a chance to teach classes up to X. “I did my BA English and then B Ed through correspondence so that I would be eligible for this promotion,” she says. “I was so happy when I got the order, but now it has turned into a nightmare.”
Officials said they were looking into the issue. “We give people seven days’ joining time, so she doesn’t have to worry. If there is a vacancy in the school she is currently in, we will promote her there itself.”

http://epaper.timesofindia.com/Default/Scripting/ArticleWin.asp?From=Arc...

august 4, 2010



Staff Reporter



Gautam Varma husked a coconut in 42 seconds









For record:Gautam Varma husking a coconut in Bangalore on Tuesday.

BANGALORE: In his efforts to create a world record, Gautam Varma, a resident of Bangalore, on Tuesday husked a coconut with his teeth in 42 seconds here.

Displaying his talent in front of presspersons here, Mr. Varma said that he was given 55 seconds by the Guinness Book of World Records to create the record.

Mr. Varma has set a goal of accomplishing several “impossible” tasks, and has been practising for over 15 years. His previous records include husking 51 coconuts in 38 minutes with his teeth, pulling a Maruti 800 car with his ears, climbing a 40-foot coconut tree holding a bicycle in his mouth, and lifting an 80 kg rice bag with his teeth.

He said that he had been practising coconut husking with his teeth for the past six years, and on Tuesday he was able to record the fastest time.

source: the hindu

Boys and Girls Are Born Equal But Not the Same

"Equal" is not always synonymous with "the same." Men and women are created equal. But, boys and girls are not born the same.

1. You throw a little girl a ball, and it will hit her in the nose. You throw a little boy a ball, and he will try to catch it. Then it will hit him in the nose.

2. You dress your little girl in her Easter Sunday best, and she'll look just as pretty when you finally make it to church an hour later. You dress a boy in his Easter Sunday best, and he'll somehow find every mud puddle from your home to the church, even if you're driving there.

3. Boys' rooms are usually messy. Girls' rooms are usually messy, except it's a good smelling mess.

4. A baby girl will pick up a stick and look in wonderment at what nature has made. A baby boy will pick up a stick and turn it into a gun.

5. When girls play with Barbie and Ken dolls, they like to dress them up and play house with them. When boys play with Barbie and Ken dolls, they like to tear off their appendages.

6. Boys couldn't care less if their hair is unruly. If their bangs got cut a quarter-inch too short, girls would rather lock themselves in their room for two weeks than be seen in public.

7. Baby girls find mommy's makeup and almost instinctively start painting their face. Baby boys find mommy's makeup and almost instinctively start painting the walls.

8. If a girl accidentally burps, she will be embarrassed. If a boy accidentally burps, he will follow it with a dozen fake belches.

9. Boys grow their fingernails long because because they're too lazy to cut them. Girls grow their fingernails long - not because they look nice - but because they can dig them into a boy's arm.

10. Girls are attracted to boys, even at an early age. At an early age, boys are attracted to dirt.

11. By the age of 6, boys will stop giving their dad kisses. By the age of 6, girls will stop giving their dad kisses unless he bribes them with candy.

12. Most baby girls talk before boys do. Before boys talk, they learn how to make machine-gun noises.

13. Girls turn into women. Boys turn into bigger boys.

Arab student sends an e-mail to his Dad saying:

Dear Dad,

Berlin is wonderful, people are nice and I really like it here, but Dad,
I am bit ashamed to arrive at my college with my gold-plated Mercedes, when
all my teachers travel by train.

Your Son
Nasser

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sometime later Nasser gets this reply to his e-mail from his Dad:

Loving son,

Twenty Million Dollars transferred to your account. Please stop
embarrassing us, go and get yourself a train too.

Your Dad

Brain Exercise

It's that time of year to take our annual senior citizen test. Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles. As we grow older, it's important to keep mentally alert. If you don't use it, you lose it! Below is a very private way to gauge your loss or non-loss of intelligence.


Take the test presented here to determine if you're losing it or not. The spaces below are so you don't see the answers until you've made your answer.


OK, relax, clear your mind and begin.



1. What do you put in a toaster?




















Answer: "bread." If you said "toast," give up now and do something else. Try not to hurt yourself. If you said, bread, go to Question 2.



2. Say "silk" five times. Now spell "silk." What do cows drink?














Answer: Cows drink water. If you said "milk," don't attempt the next question. Your brain is over-stressed and may even overheat. Content yourself with reading a more appropriate literature such as Auto World. However, if you said "water", proceed to question 3.





3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made from blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is made from black bricks, what is a green house made from?





















Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said "green bricks," why the heck are you still reading these??? If you said "glass," go on to Question 4.



4. It's twenty years ago, and a plane is flying at 20,000 feet over Germany (If you will recall, Germany at the time was politically divided into West Germany and East Germany .) Anyway, during the flight, TWO engines fail. The pilot, realizing that the last remaining engine is also failing, decides on a crash landing procedure. Unfortunately the engine fails before he can do so and the plane fatally crashes smack in the middle of "no man's land" between East Germany and West Germany . Where would you bury the survivors? East Germany, West Germany, or no man's land"?



























Answer: You don't bury survivors. If you said ANYTHING else, you're a dunce and you must stop. If you said, "You don't bury survivors", proceed to the next question.



5. Without using a calculator - You are driving a bus from London to Milford Haven in Wales. In London, 17 people get on the bus; In Reading, six people get off the bus and nine people get on. In Swindon, two people get off and four get on In Cardiff , 11 people get off and 16 people get on. In Swansea, three people get off and five people get on In Carmarthen, six people get off and three get on. You then arrive at Milford Haven. What was the name of the bus driver ?





















Answer: Oh, for crying out loud! Don't you remember your own name? It was YOU!!

Now pass this along to all your friends and pray they do better than you.
PS: 95% of people fail most of the questions!!

One evening a Swamiji of Sri Ramakrishna Mutt was addressing the participants on the concept of work culture. One of the participants asked the following question to the Swamiji:

"I am a senior manager of Materials Department and I joined this organization 25 years ago as an Engineer Trainee and over the last 25 years I have gone through every experience in the organization and I am now the senior manager looking after the material function independently. During the initial part of my career, the job was very challenging and interesting. Every day was exciting and I looked forward to each day with lot of interest. However, all those exciting days are gone since I do not find my joy any more interesting because there is nothing new in my job. As I have seen and handled every conceivable situation there is no more challenges in my work. I am now feeling bored because I am doing a routine job.However, Swamiji, I am living in the same house for over forty years, I am the son for the same parents for over forty five years, I am the father for the same children for the past ten years and the husband for the same lady for the past twenty years. In these personal roles I do not feel bored and the passage of time has not taken away the zeal from me. Please tell me why I am bored of the routine in the office and not in the house?"

This was a very interesting question and we were all very anxious and curious to know what the Swamiji had to say !! The response from him was very interesting and convincing. He asked the executive the question: "Please tell me for whom does your Mother cook ?".
The executive replied that obviously the mother cooks for others. Then the Swamiji said that the mother Serves" others and because of this service mindedness, she is not feeling tired or bored. But in an office, we "Work" and not "Serve". Anything we consider, as service will not make us feel bored. That is difference between Serving and Working. He asked the executive to consider his work as service and not merely a work !! This was a very interesting analysis !!

Whenever you put a larger context around your work and see a broader meaning for your work, you will take interest in your work. An awareness of larger purpose of your job and an appreciation of its importance will make a very big difference in your internal energy. You should believe that you are here for a purpose and should believe in the spiritual context of your role. Attitude Matters !!!

The Echo Of Life

A son and his father were walking on the mountains. Suddenly, the son
falls, hurts himself and screams: "AAAhhhhhhhhhhh!!!"
To his surprise, he hears the voice repeating, somewhere in the
mountain: "AAAhhhhhhhhhhh!!!"
Curious, he yells: "Who are you?"
He receives the answer: "Who are you?"
Angered at the response, he screams: "Coward!"
He receives the answer: "Coward!"
He looks to his father and asks: "What's going on?"
The father smiles and says: "My son, pay attention." And then he
screams to the mountain: "I admire you!" The voice answers: "I admire
you!"
Again the man screams: "You are a champion!"
The voice answers: "You are a champion!"
The boy is surprised, but does not understand. Then the father
explains: "People call this ECHO, but really this is LIFE. It gives
you back everything
you say or do. Our life is simply a reflection of our actions."
If you want more love in the world, create more love in your heart. If
you want more competence in your team, improve your competence.
This relationship applies to everything, in all aspects of life; Life
will give you back everything you have given to it.

The Empty Jar And 2 Cups of Coffee

When things in your life seem, Almost too much to handle, When 24 Hours in a day is not enough, Remember the story of the empty jar and 2 cups of coffee.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him.
When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls.
He then asked the students, If the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar.

He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open Areas between the golf balls.
He then asked The students again If the jar was full..They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else.
He asked once more if the jar was full.
The students responded with an unanimous 'yes.'

The professor then produced Two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents Into the jar, effectively Filling the Empty space between
the sand.
The students laughed.

'Now,' said the professor, As the laughter subsided,
'I want you to recognize that This jar represents your life.
The golf balls are the important things - God, family, children, health, friends, and favorite passions – things that if everything else was lost and only
they remained, Your life would still be full.
The pebbles are the other things that matter Like your job, house, and car.
The sand is everything else -- The small stuff.

'If you put the sand into the jar first,' He continued, 'there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls.
The same goes for life.

If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you.

So...

Pay attention to the things That are critical to your happiness.
Play With your children.
Take time to get medical checkups.
Take your partner out to dinner.

There will always be time
To clean the house and fix the disposal.

'Take care of the golf balls first -- The things that really matter.
Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.'

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented.

The professor smiled.
'I'm glad you asked'.

It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a cup of coffee with a friend.

What Are You Doing With Your Time?

Rich or poor, old or young, male or female, we all have the same amount of one thing?time. How we use it will largely determine how far we?ll go in life and in our relationship with our Creator.
By Ralph Levy

Imagine there is a bank that deposits $86,400 into your account each morning. But there's a catch?it carries over no balance from day to day, so you lose every dollar you don't spend.

What would you do? You'd spend every cent, of course!

But each of us has just such a bank. Its name is time. Every morning it credits you with 86,400 seconds. Every night it writes off, as lost, whatever you have failed to invest to good purpose. It carries over no balance; it allows no overdraft.

Each day it opens a new account for you. Each night it burns the remains of the day. If you fail to use the day's deposits, the loss is yours. There is no going back. There is no drawing against tomorrow.

You must live in the present on today's deposits. Invest it so as to get from it the utmost in health, happiness and success. The clock is running. Will you make the most of the time you've been given?

Does time matter that much?

Is time?a little or a lot?all that important? Consider the following:

To realize the value of one year,
Ask a student who failed a grade.

To realize the value of one month,
Ask a mother who gave birth to a premature baby.

To realize the value of one week,
Ask the editor of a weekly newspaper.

To realize the value of one day,
Ask a daily-wage labourer with several children's mouths to feed.

To realize the value of one hour,
Ask the lovers who are waiting to meet.

To realize the value of one minute,
Ask a person who missed the train.

To realize the value of one second,
Ask a person who just avoided an accident.

To realize the value of one millisecond,
Ask a person who won a silver medal at the Olympics.

The anonymous author of these words helps us realize just how important time is.

Jesus Christ told us to be careful how we handle our time, asking, "Are there not twelve hours in the day [the daylight portion of the 24-hour cycle]? If anyone walks in the day, he does not stumble, because he sees the light of the world. But if one walks in the night, he stumbles, because the light is not in him.

Time: It's what our lives are composed of. Yet in this busy modern world it has become all too easy to let time, the stuff of life, run away from us. E-mails, new software, multiple television channels, cell phones and all the other products of the technological revolution that were supposed to have simplified and enhanced the quality of our lives seem to have conspired to strip us of the time needed for the really important things of life.

Professor began his class by holding up a glass with some water in it. He held it up for all to see & asked the students
"How much do you think this glass weighs?"
'50gms!' ..... '100gms!' .....'125gms' ...the students answered.
"I really don't know unless I weigh it," said the professor, "but, my question is:
What would happen if I held it up like this for a few minutes?"
'Nothing' …..the students said.
'Ok what would happen if I held it up like this for an hour?' the professor asked.
'Your arm would begin to ache' said one of the student
"You're right, now what would happen if I held it for a day?"
"Your arm could go numb, you might have severe muscle stress & paralysis & have to go to hospital for sure!"
….. ventured another student & all the students laughed
"Very good.

But during all this, did the weight of the glass change?"
asked the professor.
'No'…. Was the answer.
"Then what caused the arm ache & the muscle stress?"
The students were puzzled.

"What should I do now to come out of pain?" asked professor again.
"Put the glass down!" said one of the students

"Exactly!" said the professor.
Life's problems are something like this.
Hold it for a few minutes in your head & they seem OK.
Think of them for a long time & they begin to ache.
Hold it even longer & they begin to paralyze you. You will not be able to do anything.
It's important to think of the challenges or problems in your life,
But EVEN MORE IMPORTANT is to 'PUT THEM DOWN' at the end of every day before You go to sleep..

That way, you are not stressed, you wake up every day fresh &strong & can handle any issue,
any challenges that comes your way.

Remember my friend -- 'PUT THE GLASS DOWN TODAY! '

Murphy's laws on women and men!!!
This applys to guys as well
only we have to reverse with the genders in each of the chances


1. Chances are - If you think that a woman is beautiful, she will always have a husband, or a boy-friend - to prove it !
2. Chances are - The more beautiful a woman is, the greater the chances that, she may dump you !
3. Chances are - The more make up - a woman wears - she may look proprtionately uglier !
4. Chances are - the man standing next to a beautiful woman and chatting with her, may not be her brother !
5. Chances are - if the woman whom you like, likes you back, she may let you know about her interest in you, after you are married to another lady
6. Chances are - The more you ignore a woman, the more she would be interested in you !
7. Chances are - The more you chase a woman, the faster she may run away from you !
8. Chances are - The more you like a woman, the more her father will dislike you !
9. Chances are - the number of bullets in the gun owned by the father of the woman you like, maybe directly proportional to the extent of your interest
in his daughter !
10. Chances are - when you get a woman to be alone with you, her friend will come to meet her !
11. Chances are - when you get a woman to be alone with you, her friend who comes to meet her, will be a handsome and very exciting male hunk !
12. Chances are - the day, the woman whom you like comes to talk to you, that may be the day when, you are most badly dressed !

13. Chances are - the day, the woman whom you like comes to talk to you, that may be the day when, you forgot to brush your teeth !
14. Chances are - the day, the woman whom you like comes to talk to you, that may be the day when, you forgot to wear body deodarant !
15. Chances are - the day, the woman whom you like comes to talk to you, that may be the day when, you have an itch problem !
16. Chances are - the day, the woman whom you like comes to talk to you, that may be the day when, you have a gas problem in your tummy !
17. Chances are - the day, the woman whom you like comes to talk to you, that may be the day when, your ex-girl friend comes to re-concile with you
18. Only 35 % of the women in this world are supposed to be beautiful. Chances are that, it is only the balance 65 %, who may be in your company
laugh and enjoy with these facts!

One Day I Decided To Quit

I quit my job, my relationship, my spirituality... I wanted to quit my life.

I went to the woods to have one last talk with God.
"God", I said. "Can you give me one good reason not to quit?"

His answer surprised me...
"Look around", He said. "Do you see the fern and the bamboo?"
"Yes", I replied.
"When I planted the fern and the bamboo seeds, I took very good care of them. I gave them light. I gave them water. The fern quickly grew from the earth. Its brilliant green covered the floor.Yet nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo.

In the second year the Fern grew more vibrant and plentiful. And again, nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo."

He said, "In year three there was still nothing from the bamboo seed. But I would not quit. In year four, again, there was nothing from the bamboo seed. I would not quit."

"Then in the fifth year a tiny sprout emerged from the earth. Compared to the fern it was seemingly small and insignificant...But just 6 months later the bamboo rose to over 100 feet tall.

It had spent the five years growing roots. Those roots made it strong and gave it what it needed to survive. I would not give any of my creations a challenge it could not handle." He said to me.

"Did you know, my child, that all this time you have been struggling, you have actually been growing roots?"
"I would not quit on the bamboo. I will never quit on you."
"Don't compare yourself to others." He said. "The bamboo had a different purpose than the fern. Yet they both make the forest beautiful."
"Your time will come", God said to me.
"You will rise high"
"How high should I rise?" I asked.
"How high will the bamboo rise?" He asked in return.
"As high as it can?" I questioned
"Yes." He said, "Give me glory by rising as high as you can."

I left the forest and bring back this story. I hope these words can help you see that God will never give up on you.

He will never give up on you!

Love, Light and Peace

Santa did jump on the railway track, as he heard of the announcement of the coming train.
people shouted : "hey why have you gone on the track? you'll die. didn't you hear that the train's gonna come right now? "
to this santa replyed : "you people will die.it's not me who'll die. you fools didn't you know that the train's gonna come on the platform, they announced right now? "
laugh thoroughly!

HERE COMES ANOTHER 1
ENJOY!


U can Tell ur Friend
"U r my Best Friend”

But
Do u have courage to tell to ur Wife
“U r my Best Wife?”

I CHALLENGE U TO ANSWER THIS 1 !

10 commandments

Commandment 1

Marriages are made in heaven. But so are thunder and lightning.

***********
Commandment 2

If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say; talk in your sleep.

***********
Commandment 3

Marriage is grand -- and divorce is at least 1000 grand !

***********
Commandment 4

Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.

In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.

In the third year, they both speak and the neighbours listen.

***********
Commandment 5

When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: Either the car is new or the wife is.

***********
Commandment 6

Marriage is when a man and woman become as one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

***********
Commandment 7

Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say. After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish.
***********
Commandment 8

Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a good cook.

But the law allows only one wife.

***********
Commandment 9

Marriage and love are purely matter of chemistry. That is why wives treat husbands like toxic waste.

***********
Commandment 10

A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.

hi planeteers,
just i'd read something misschivious,
so am in a light mood now.
and thought to post some thing that's a little misschievious.
so am sharing with u ol as well


“ Never KISS a lady police
She will say, hands up.
Never KISS a lady doctor,
She will say, Next please
Always KISS a lady teacher,
She will say, repeat it 5 times ”

come on u ol
don't take it serious
just take it light !
as we ol do here on the lighter side of disability!

Close your eyes...And go back in time
Before semi automatics and crack...
Before SEGA or Super Nintendo...

Way back...I'm talking about
Hide and seek at dusk.
Red light, green light.
The corner store.
Hopscotch, butterscotch, doubledutch,
jacks, kickball, dodgeball.
Mother May I...
Red Rover and Roly Poly.
Hula Hoops.
Running through the sprinkler.
An ice cream cone on a warm summer night...
Chocolate or vanilla or strawberry or
maybe butter pecan.

Wait...
Watching Saturday Morning cartoons...
Short commercials.
Fat Albert, Road Runner, The Three Stooges, and Bugs.
Or back further...
When around the corner seemed far away,
And going downtown seemed like going somewhere.
Cops and Robbers, Cowboys and Indians, Zorro.
Climbing trees, building igloos out of snow banks
Running till you were out of breath.
Laughing so hard that your stomach hurt.
Jumping on the bed.
Pillow fights.
Spinning around, getting dizzy, and falling down...
Being tired from playing...Remember that?
The worst embarrassment was being picked last for a team.
War was a card game.
Water balloons were the ultimate weapon.
Baseball cards in the spokes transformed any bike
into a motorcycle.

I'm not finished just yet...
When you'd reach into a muddy gutter for a penny.
When you got your windshield cleaned, oil checked,
and gas pumped without asking, for free, every time...
and, you didn't pay for air.
When nearly everyone's mom was at home
when the kids got there.
When it took five minutes for the TV to warm up,
if you even had one.
It was magic when dad would "remove" his thumb.
When it was considered a great privilege to be taken
out to dinner at a real restaurant with your parents.
When girls neither dated nor kissed
until late high school, if then.

When they threatened to keep kids back a grade
if they failed...and did!
When being sent to the principal's office was nothing compared to the fate that awaited
a misbehaving student at home.
Basically, we were in fear for our lives but it wasn't
because of drive-by shootings, drugs, gangs, etc.
Our parents and grandparents were a much bigger threat!
Didn't that feel good? Just to go back and say,
"Yeah, I remember that!"

Remember when...
Decisions were made by going "eeny-meeny-miney-mo."
Mistakes were corrected by simply exclaiming, "Do over!"
"Race issue" meant arguing about who ran the fastest.
The worst thing you could catch
from the opposite sex was cooties.
It was unbelievable that dodgeball wasn't an Olympic event.
Having a weapon in school meant being caught with a slingshot.
Scrapes and bruises were kissed and made better.
Taking drugs meant orange-flavored chewable aspirin.
Abilities were discovered because of a "double-dog-dare."

If you can remember most or all of these,
then you have LIVED!!!

Models of self-confidence

CHENNAI, July 11, 2010

Special Correspondent

Caption:Persons with disabilities who participated in a job fair held in Perambur did not allow lack of facilities to deter them.

At the Community Hall in Perambur, it was a lesson in what self-confidence could do to a person's self-image. The scores of persons with disabilities who sat in the portico of the hall or climbed to the first floor with their callipers and crutches had only one aim in life: to become insurance consultants for the LIC.

Life Insurance Corporation had organised a job fair for persons with disabilities on Saturday. Of 163 candidates who participated, 142 were provisionally selected, said Development Officer Noor Muhammed Sheriff.

Those selected have been called for an interview after which they would be given training for eight days. Following this, the candidates would appear for an examination conducted by the Insurance Regulatory Development Authority. On clearing the examination, they would receive a licence to work as insurance agents from the IRDA that is valid for three years.

The participants from several parts of the city had come without anticipating the difficulty that they would face at the venue. The meeting with the LIC officials was organised on the first floor of the building which had neither an elevator nor a ramp. Most people climbed the stairs while a few waited at the portico. The organisers had, however, installed speakers on the ground floor too.

LIC's Senior Divisional Manager R. Srinivasan explained the role of insurance and various products.
District Employment Officer R. Devendiran said that only those who had passed class XII or had a degree had been called for the fair. Disability is no deterrent as there is technology to rely on, he told the candidates.

“You can use your influence, send messages on mobile phones, develop contact through the Internet and just call up people,” he said.

Mr. Sheriff said, “We will be there to guide them. We will go with the candidates and help them until they learn the marketing skills.”

S. Jayachandran who came by an autorickshaw from K.K. Nagar had to crawl up the stairs. But, he epitomised the spirit of the candidates at the fair. “I have come with self-confidence. I have a home appliances service centre and can manage this as it will involve only desk work for me. I came because this is a government job,” he said. He was selected for the next round of interview.

Source:
www.thehindu.com

1. A day without sunshine is like night.
2. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
5. Remember, half the people you know are below average.
6. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.
9. Support bacteria. They're the only culture most people have.
10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
13. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.
14 OK, so what's the speed of dark?
15. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
17. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
19. What happens if you get scared half to death…. twice?
20. Why do psychics have to ask you your name?
21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, 'What the heck happened?'
22. Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.
23. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

The Mexican maid asked for a pay increase. The wife was
very upset about this and decided to talk to her about
the raise. She asked, "Now Maria, why do you want a pay
raise?"

"Well, Senora, there are tree reasons why I wan a raise.
The first is that I iron better than you."

"Who said you iron better than me?" asked the wife.

"Jor husband say so."

"Ok."

"The second reason is that I am a better cook than you."

"Nonsense!" explodes the wife. "Who said you are a better
cook than me?"

"Jor husband did."

"Oh..."

"The third reason is that I am better at sex than you."

"Did my husband say that as well?!" the wife demanded
furiously.

"No Senora...the gardener did."

"So, how much is it you want?"

New Delhi, July 8, 2010

‘Appoint visually handicapped person who cleared IAS exam'

J. Venkatesan

The Supreme Court on Wednesday came to the rescue of a visually handicapped person who cleared the 2006 Civil Services examination and the interview but was denied employment.

It directed the Government of India to appoint him under the provisions of Persons with Disabilities (Equal Opportunities, Protection, Rights and Full Participation) Act.

A Bench consisting of Justices Altamas Kabir and Cyriac Joseph rejected the Centre's contention that since posts for the visually handicapped had not been identified, no appointment could be provided to respondent Ravi Prakash Gupta. Mr. Gupta, who is 100 per cent blind, himself argued the case.

Writing the judgment, Justice Kabir said the fact that the respondent was eligible for appointment in the civil services after having been declared successful and placed at Serial No. 5 in the Disabled Category of the visually impaired candidates could not be denied.

The Centre's contention on implementation of the provisions of Section 33 of the Disabilities Act only after identification of posts suitable for such appointment “runs counter to the legislative intent with which the Act was enacted.”

The Bench said that “to accept such a submission would amount to accepting a situation where the provisions of Section 33 of the Act could be kept deferred indefinitely by bureaucratic inaction. As has been pointed out by the High Court, neither Section 32 nor Section 33 makes any distinction with regard to Grade ‘A', ‘B', ‘C' and ‘D' posts.

They only speak of identification and reservation of posts for people with disabilities, though the proviso to Section 33 does empower the appropriate government to exempt any establishment from the provision of the said Section, having regard to the type of work carried on in any department or establishment.”

The judges said, “The Legislature never intended the provisions of Section 32 of the Act to be used as a tool to deny the benefits of Section 33 to these categories of disabled persons indicated therein.”

In the instant case, the Delhi High Court set aside the orders of the Central Administrative Tribunal rejecting the relief sought for by Mr. Gupta. It directed the Centre to grant him appointment as there was sufficient number of vacancies in which he could be appointed. The present appeal by the Centre is directed against this order.

The Supreme Court Bench, while declining to interfere with the High Court order, granted the Centre eight weeks for complying with the directions.

Disapproving of the Centre's stand, the Bench imposed Rs.20,000 costs on it to be paid in four weeks.
________________________________________
• Bench asks government to give him job under the Disabilities Act
• Rejects Centre's contention that Act could be implemented only after identification of posts

URL:
http://thehindu.com/todays-paper/tp-national/article505093.ece

Jack to Jill : "your friend has died, and you are still here? Why didn't you go to his house? "
Jill says : "I would have gone, but you see he has not invited me there. how could have I gone to his home ? "

Jack got his new school for boys to be started .
He went to his bosom friend Jill to invite him to the enogration ceremony.
Jill said :"jack you must name your school some thing unique . "
To this Jack thought a little while and said :"yes I think you are right. Will surely do that. But please do come to the ceremony, you will definatly find the unique name for my school . "
When Jill went to Jack's school's enogaral ceremony, he found the unique name that Jack did give to his new school for boys .
The name was "GIRLS SCHOOL FOR BOYS "

Aboy who got failed in his mathematics' exam,
was being scolded by his maths teacher as this: "you know when I was of your age I always stood first in my class' maths exam. I always passed with 100 marks ? you should be ashamed that you got fail.. "
To this the boy replyed inocently and quick wittedly: "Oh!sir, then your teacher would have been a very good teacher! you got a good teacher,so you got through your lessons well."

An old man, a boy & a donkey were going to town.

The boy rode on the donkey & the old man walked.

As they went along they passed some people who remarked it was a shame the old man was walking and the boy was riding.

The man and boy thought maybe the critics were right, so they changed positions.

Then, later, they passed some people who remarked, 'What a shame, he makes that little boy walk.'

So they then decided they'd both walk!

Soon they passed some more people who thought they were stupid to walk when they had a decent donkey to ride.

So, they both rode the donkey.

Now they passed some people

who shamed them by saying how awful to

put such a load on a poor donkey.

The boy and man figured they were probably right, so they decide to carry the donkey.

As they crossed the bridge,

they lost their grip on the animal

and he fell into the river and drowned.

The moral of the story?

If you try to please everyone,

you might as well...

Kiss your ass goodbye!

Banta had recently purchased a new computer with Microsoft Windows as
the and was unhappy with the same and writes a letter to Bill
Gates, regarding the same.

Dear Mr. Bill Gates,

We have bought a computer for our home and we have found some
problems, which I want to bring to your notice.

1. There is a button 'start' but there is no 'stop' button. We request
you to check this.

2. One doubt is whether any 're-scooter' is available in system? I
find only 're-cycle', but I own a scooter at my home.

3. There is 'Find' button but it is not working properly. My wife lost
the door key and we tried a lot trace the key with this 'find' button,
but was unable to trace. Please rectify this problem.

4. My child has learnt 'Microsoft word' now he wants to learn
'Microsoft sentence', so when you will provide that?

5. I bought computer, CPU, mouse and keyboard, but there is only one
icon which shows 'My Computer' when you will provide the remaining
items?

6. It is surprising that windows says 'MY Pictures' but there is not
even a single photo of mine. So when will you keep my photo in that

7. There is 'MICROSOFT OFFICE' what about 'MICROSOFT HOME' since I use
the PC at home only.

8. You provided 'My Recent Documents'. When you will provide 'My Past
Documents'?

9. You provide 'My Network Places'. For God sake please do not provide
'My Secret Places'. I do not want to let my wife know where I go after
my office hours.

Last one to Mr. Bill Gates: Sir, how is it that your name is Gates but
you are selling WINDOWS?

Regards,
Banta

Ramayana _ retold by NRI kid...Laughter riot..believe me...know U ll like it.

‏

Future of NRI kids.

A young second generation Indian in the US was asked by his mother to
explain the significance of "Diwali" to his younger brother, this is how he went about it...

" So, like this dude had, like, a big cool kingdom and people liked him.But, like, his step-mom, or something, was kind of a bitch, and she forced her
husband to, like, end this cool-dude, he was Ram, to some national forest or something... . Since he was going, for like, something like more than 10 years
or so..... he decided to get his wife and his bro along.... you know...so that they could all chill out together. But Dude,
the forest was reeeeal scary shit... really man...they had monkeys and devil s and shit like that. But this dude, Ram, kicked with darts and bows and arrows....
so it was fine.

But then some bad gangsta boys, some jerk called Ravan, picks up his babe (Sita) and lures her away to his hood.. And boy, was our man, and also his bro,
Laxman, pissed... all the gods were with him... So anyways, you don't mess with gods. So, Ram, and his bro get an army of monkeys.... Dude, don't ask me
how they trained the damn monkeys... just go along with me, ok...

So, Ram, Lax and their monkeys whip this gangsta's ass in his own hood.... Anyways, by this time, their time's up in the forest... and anyways... it gets
kinda boring, you know.... no TV or malls or shit like that. So,they deci ded to hitch a ride back home... and when the people realize that our dude, his
bro and the wife are back home... they
thought, well, you know, at least they deserve something nice... and they didn't have any bars or clubs in those days... so they couldn't take them out
for a drink, so they, like, decided to smoke and stu ff ... and since they also had some lamps, they lit the lamps also...so it was pretty cooool... you
know with all those fireworks... . Really, they even had some local band play along with the fireworks... and you know, what,
dude, that was the very first, no kidding.., that was the very first music-synchronized fireworks... . you know, like the 4th of July stuff, but just,
more cooler and stuff, you know. And, so dude,that was how, like, this festival started."

The mother fainted..... ......... .

Sign on a Septic Tank Truck:
Yesterday's Meals on Wheels

Sign on a Plumber's truck:
We repair what your husband fixed.

Sign on another Plumber's truck:
Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.

Sign at a Tyre Store:
Invite us to your next blowout.

Sign on an Electrician's truck:
Let us remove your shorts.

Sign in a Non-smoking Area:
If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.

Sign on a Maternity Room door:
Push. Push. Push.

Sign on a Fence:
Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!

Sign at a Car Dealership:
The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment.

Sign outside a Car Exhaust Store:
No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.

Sign in a Restaurant window:
Don't stand there and be hungry, come on in and get fed up.

Sign in the front yard of a Funeral Home:
Drive carefully. We'll wait.

Sign at a RADIATOR SHOP:
Best place in town to take a leak.

Ek Sharabi full tight hokar ghar jaa raha tha. Raaste me mandir ke baahar pujari dikha.

Sharabi ne pujari se poocha, sabse bada kaun?
Pujaari NE peecha chudane ke liye kaha "Mandir Bada".

Sharabi bola "Mandir bada toh dharti pe kaise khada"
Pujari: "Dharti badi"

Sharabi: "Dharti badi toh Sheshnaag pe kyun khadi"
Pujari" "Sheshnaag bada"

Sharabi: "Sheshnaag bada toh Shiv ke gale me kyon pada"
Pujari: "Shiv bada"

Sharabi: "Shiv bada toh Parbat par kyon khada"
Pujari: "Parbat bada"

Sharabi: "Parbat bada toh Hanuman ki ungli pe kyon pada"
Pujari: "Hanuman bada"

Sharabi: "Hanuman bada toh Ram ki charno me kyon pada"
Pujari: "Ram bada"

Sharabi: "Ram bada toh Ravan ke piche kyun pada"
Pujari: "arey mere baap TU Bata kaun bada"
Sharabi: "Is duniya me woh bada, Jo puri bottle pee ke apni taango pe khada."

Do Not Believe In Anything Simply Because You Have Heard It.



Do Not Believe In Anything Simply Because It Is Spoken And Rumored By Many.



Do Not Believe In Anything Simply Because It Is Found Written In Your Religious Books.



Do Not Believe In Anything Merely On The Authority Of Your Teachers And Elders.



Do Not Believe In Traditions Because They Have Been Handed Down For Many Generations.



But After Observation And Analysis, When You Find That Anything Agrees With Reason And Is Conducive To The Good And Benefit Of One And All, Then Accept It And Live Up To It.





--------------------------------------------------------------------------------








We Are The Hero Of Our Own Story.

Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that.

*********

Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.

Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.

*********

Why do couples hold hands during their wedding?

It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!

*********

Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?

Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.

*********

It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged.

It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered

*********

It is difficult to understand GOD. He makes such beautiful things as women and then he turns them into Wives

*********

If u r married please ignore this MSG,

For everyone else: Happy Independence Day

*********

Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say.

After marriage, he'll fall asleep before you finish.

*********

There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage

*********

Gal friends r like chocolates,
Taste good anytime.

Lovers r like PIZZAS, Hot n spicy, eaten frequently.
Wife r like Dal RICE, eaten when there`s no choice

*********

Man receives telegram: Wife dead should be buried or cremated?

Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.

*********

Prospective husband: Do you have a book called 'Man, The Master of Women'?

Salesgirl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir.

*********

Q: Why dogs don't marry?

A: Because they are already leading a dog's life!

*********

There was this guy who told his woman that he loved her so much that he would go through hell for her. They got married and now he is going through hell.

*********

Fact of life: One woman brings you into this world crying & the other ensures you continue to do so for the rest of your life!

Cheers.*********

Q: Why doesn't law permit a man to marry a second woman?

A: Because as per law you cannot be punished twice for the same offense!